


I Was Tricked

by LeonoraChris



Category: NCIS
Genre: Angst, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Rota, What-If, director tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-12
Updated: 2016-05-24
Packaged: 2018-02-08 13:39:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 28,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1943241
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LeonoraChris/pseuds/LeonoraChris
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony takes the Rota promotion. After years of no contact to his old team, he finally returns. Much to everyone's shock, he's the new Director. How on earth did that happen..?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Was Tricked

**Author's Note:**

>   
> _The story and any possible original characters are mine.  
>  NCIS, its own characters and canon aren't._

Gibbs stared quietly at the stairs that went to the Director's office. His agents knew better than to bother him while he was having one of his 'moods'. None of them were brave or stupid enough to question his behavior, which seemed to get worse by the day. At least this time they could guess the reason behind it; the death of Director Shepard. While their boss didn't show it—other than through his temper and worse than usual demands—it was clear that he took it really hard.

It was strange however how they could see that, but not all the other times during the last few years when Gibbs was feeling upset over the loss of one Very Special Agent. Not even when he so obviously got either pissed off or sad whenever someone or something reminded him of Tony DiNozzo; the man who could take an ordinary and boring day at the office and turn it into something else, something fun even, while at the same time making the time fly by so fast that they hardly ever noticed how boring the paperwork truly was. And somehow with him gone, the harsh reality of their work and the cases they worked with had become much more obvious.

It was a week after Tony left that his loss hit the team hard for the first time, when the first brutal case was given to them.

But of course all that was then and not now, when they didn't even know where the man had disappeared to. Those who knew, they kept the secret so tightly sealed that none of Gibbs' threats and evil looks or even the Elf Lord's computer skills helped. It had been difficult for any of them to accept that being such supposedly skillful agents as they were, they couldn't find their lost SFA.

It had been very sudden and out of nowhere; one day Tony was there and the next day their Director informed them that he took some offered promotion and had asked that the information would not be shared with anyone. As much as they had tried to dig around—against the direct orders to not do so—it seemed like someone had covered up all the tracks for him. Someone who had bested the greatest team of the NCIS. They kept trying, until finally McGee received a message on his computer screen from Tony himself to back off and leave him alone, with some strong choice of words that weren't exactly SFW, as someone walking by had jokingly pointed out. That didn't stop them, because Gibbs was his usual stubborn old bastard, but it was the last sign of the man.

While the others did finally give up, Gibbs never did. It confused them and some of them couldn't help but notice similarities between the case of Ari and how the Agent was treating this one. Gibbs had found his new whale, which unfortunately also meant that Captain Ahab was back, worse than before, and it terrified some. Seeing how much time had passed without any sign of DiNozzo, this was far more challenging than trying to get to Ari who had been a child's play compared to this. Although the price for that one had been much heavier to pay; the life of Kate. Hopefully it would never happen again. Hopefully it _hadn't_.

No matter how much Gibbs had growled and threatened, Shepard did not reveal anything; not the location and not the new position, but Gibbs was pretty sure the young man had been offered his own team. As many holes as there still had been in his memory back then, he had known without a doubt that it was a long overdue promotion. It didn't matter however since he was a possessive bastard and he refused to let go of the matter, to the very day when Jenny died; her illness, which they had known nothing about, finally claimed her.

It was now few weeks since the funeral and they knew today was the day their new Director would arrive. While Gibbs didn't care and was much more interested staring at the wall, the others were curious after hearing many rumors about this man. They didn't know much, but apparently he was still quite young, charming and some kind of a living legend. For what reason, they didn't know and probably never would. The words ' _need to know_ ' had been mentioned more often than not. Basically it all guaranteed that both men and women were intrigued, and from the way people in the bullpen kept glancing toward the elevator and the excitement that was in the room, you would think that some big celebrity was coming instead of their new Director.

James Palmer stood farther away, observing the scene quietly. He was becoming really good at observing and noticing things others wouldn't. He was one of the few who actually knew this new Director and he was there only to see how the others would react once they saw him. He was both nervous and worried at the same time. Maybe a little excited too.

He'd had the front seat when it came to witnessing the fall of once the best team of the NCIS to one of the best. With DiNozzo gone, their solve rate had dropped, enough to realize how much work the former Detective had done and how much more work the others now had to do to keep their solve rate where it now was and even that was uncertain at best. Not to mention how much longer it took for them to solve their cases without one of Tony's strange, but always effective ways. Gibbs himself certainly was not making things easier as it seemed he was slowly starting to lose his interest and motivation to do this job.

Jimmy had seen how Abby had to force her cheerfulness and the way her eyes kept going toward one of the many pictures she had put on the walls in her lab, as if hoping she could hear Tony throwing in a movie quote or giving them his cheeky smile and when it didn't happen, she nearly started crying. During the first month she did just that. There were new pictures added at least few times a week. He could imagine how she was on constant lookout for new ones; maybe hunt was more like it. He'd even seen Tony photoshopped in pictures. If Agent Gibbs was Ahab, he had no idea who Abby was, but he was pretty sure Tony would know.

He had also noticed how sad Ducky was that his young friend hadn't said goodbye even to him and the regret of how little support he himself had offered to Tony during Gibbs' absence, having focused more on his own anger toward his old friend and never realizing what it all did to his younger friend. Let alone all the inhuman hours Tony spent at work, even if he hadn't know about the undercover missions, which Jimmy had found out by accident.

McGee would every once in a while glance toward the desk—now occupied by the new SFA—with deep guilt and perhaps some regret in his eyes. Even with all the sorry he may have felt, Jimmy was not going to forgive him and the others for their actions that could have very well killed their teammate, his friend. If not in the field then he would've certainly ended up in a hospital, simply because of the exhaustion and malnutrition, when by the end there literally wasn't time for neither sleep nor food.

However, the one who this all affected the most was Gibbs. The old man missed his young friend so much he was physically hurting. You could actually see the pain in his eyes. Clear as day. Jimmy marveled how the man's own agents didn't catch on that. He wasn't sure if even Abby truly realized it. She was once again seeing only her own pain and misery. While he did feel pity toward the former Marine, to Jimmy his actions were the worst of them all; out of them all, Tony had trusted Gibbs the most. Undeservingly perhaps, but Jimmy wasn't one to judge such matters. Especially when considering his friend's state of mind during the years spent around the old bastard boss of his.

The ones who didn't seem affected by Tony's absence were the new Agent, who had never even met Tony, and Ziva David who didn't seem to mind that DiNozzo was gone. The day she found out he wasn't coming back, she had looked strangely pleased. Jimmy marveled how he was the only one who had seen it. But then, he'd learned the hard way how deceiving a pretty face could be.

Spending enough time around these people, and then becoming friends with Tony, had made him pretty good at noticing things and reading people. At least those close to him. Tony once joked that had his work not been so dangerous, he would have chosen Jimmy to watch his six over his partners without a second thought. Joke or not, the very thought of it still brought a smile on Jimmy's face, but never without that bitter aftertaste when he remembered why Tony didn't trust his life in the hands of his partners.

The elevator suddenly made the all too familiar sound and everyone's focus was at the doors. Well, everyone but Gibbs who was still doing his sulking and looking like he could stare a hole in the wall if he tried hard enough. Some agents and other people entered the bullpen and when the last person stepped outside, Jimmy saw from the corner of his eye the shocked looks of McGee and Ziva; especially McGee looked like he was seeing a ghost as he gasped.

"Tony?" McGee whispered the taboo name and finally Gibbs looked toward the elevator, his head turning so fast it hurt to even look at. Seeing Tony standing there and talking with someone as if he had never been gone, Gibbs stood up quickly and rushed toward him, only to be stopped by one of the two people who looked so much like the 'Men in black' that anyone who knew Tony could almost hear him quoting the movies to everyone.

Tony's eyes met Jimmy's and he nodded at him. They would talk later, so Jimmy was in no rush to try to get through the wall of people now. He knew that Tony knew his former team was there, but he was acting as if he hadn't even noticed them. His acting skills were as good as ever and he fit in perfectly with the SecNav and a few other important looking people surrounding him. Very Special indeed.

"Tony!" Gibbs finally called out with no small amount of desperation, gaining more than few odd looks at his out of character behavior, but Tony ignored him and walked to the stairs and only stopped once he was up, looking down at the bullpen. The SecNav stood next to him and cleared his throat, to silence the sudden buzz in the bullpen.

"As you are all aware, because of the passing of Director Shepard, there will be a new Director starting from today." The man glanced toward Tony who looked much healthier than all those years ago, but he was also much more serious. There was not a hint of amusement in his eyes. It was impossible to tell what he was thinking and feeling. "Many of you already know him or have heard of him, either by name or some rumors without a name. Some of you have even worked with him in the past. Let me introduce to you Anthony DiNozzo, your new Director."

The buzz from before was nothing compared to the one that started now. In the middle of it all stood team Gibbs, completely frozen to their spot by the revelation.

" _Director_? Our Tony?" McGee was shocked. He had a sudden flashback from when he had put down Tony and his skills as a leader. Yet here he himself was, not even a SFA this time. For some reason Gibbs never even gave it a thought and just kept waiting for Tony to return, until Director Shepard had forced them to fill up the empty spot in their team. To say it had hurt his pride would not do justice to how he had felt when he'd been so sure he would be made SFA again, for real this time.

"It must be a joke, I am sure," Ziva scoffed. She was still unwilling to admit, even to herself, that her former partner truly was good enough to be their SFA. To now find out that the man had returned as their Director... It was just too much to be true. She could not help but still think that DiNozzo didn't have what it takes to be a true leader. She couldn't wait to see how big mess he would put the NCIS in. There was no way this would end up well.

Their current SFA looked suitably impressed. "That's my predecessor, right? I guess I can finally see what all the big talk about him was."

Out of the hearing distance of those below, the SecNav shook his head as he observed the scene down in the bullpen and he muttered, "They all behave like they're still in high school."

Tony finally cracked a smile and chuckled. "Don't you know? We never leave high school. It follows us wherever we go to in life. We can act as grown up as we want, but deep down we're still those same kids who we were back then. Only the toys and games are much bigger."

The elevator door opened again and no one paid any attention to it, until they heard a high-pitched and desperate scream cutting through the noise. "Tony!" It was Abby.

Tony flinched. He couldn't deal with this now. It wasn't the right time or place. He turned to look at the people who were with him and he nodded. "We have much to discuss." Without a second glance, they left, leaving the tearful woman trying to run after them.

It was McGee who stopped Abby. "Not now. We'll... We'll do it later, when things have calmed down for a bit."

"But, Tim. It's _Tony_. And he's our new Director! Why is he the Director?"

"I don't know... But it means we have time to ask him about that later."

Gibbs was the first to finally realize something. He had seen the way Tony glanced toward Palmer those few times and each time there was a silent conversation going on. That's when he remembered all those secret phone calls the young man tried to hide from the rest of them and the way he alone didn't seem too upset or even surprised when Tony disappeared. At the time Gibbs had thought it was because he wasn't as close to DiNozzo as the rest of them were. Now however... It all made suddenly so much sense. "You knew!"

Jimmy flinched at the furious roar and he saw Agent Gibbs striding toward him with a purpose. He had never been at the receiving end of Gibbs' fury and he certainly did not wish to be there now. However, he hadn't been Tony's friend for so long to not learn something. He clenched his teeth together and pushed his hands in his pockets, to hide how much they were trembling. Straightening his back and forcing his eyes to never look away when he faced Gibbs, he was looking much braver and stronger than he really felt. "Agent Gibbs."

"You knew... This whole time you knew!" Gibbs hissed, ignoring all the attention they were receiving.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you are talking about so you need to elaborate a bit more."

For a moment it looked like Gibbs was going to hit him, but much to Jimmy's relief the old man actually took a few calming breaths and glared. "Tony. You knew where he was this whole time and you knew he was coming back today."

Jimmy managed to somehow keep his face impassive as he shrugged. "Sure. I knew. During your Mexico hiatus he and I became really close and good friends. I was the only one who truly cared about his wellbeing and noticed when he couldn't take it anymore. You could say I was his rock during those months and after it. I was there to catch him when he finally fell. So on and so forth. So yeah, of course he would keep in touch with the only person who had been there for him."

Gibbs frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"It's something you must figure out yourself, Agent Gibbs. Ask your agents. Ask Abby and Ducky. Think back how _you_ behaved when you left and then returned. Then add to that the fact that the Director used him up by making him work twenty-four seven. Literally. Ask other agents." Jimmy turned around and almost ran in the elevator. Once the doors closed and he was safely away from Gibbs, he slowly slid down on the floor. He had never been so scared in his life! And somehow he still survived it all. Alive.

Meanwhile, Gibbs ordered his SFA to continue working on their current case. He had a dangerous glint in his eyes as he first time in years finally, truly, looked at his other two agents. "You two. With me. You too, Abby."

* * *

It was several weeks later when things finally calmed down enough and returned to somewhat normal routine. Only team Gibbs seemed really off their game lately. Gibbs barely even looked at his agents and he made his SFA order the other two around for him since he wasn't even talking to them. While McGee looked rightfully chastised, Ziva looked angry and even offended. Everyone in the bullpen knew they—including Abby and later Ducky—had talked about something in private, but it was only Ziva and McGee who got this ice-cold treatment. You could almost feel the temperature drop really low as soon as team Gibbs entered the bullpen.

Tony stood in his new office and tried to focus on the files in front of him. Paperwork. He hated paperwork. He hated being the Director and it had never been his goal to become one. Okay, he didn't _hate_ it. What he hated was being stuck in some office, when he could do so much more by working outside in the field. It was so much more fun too. And he hated the politics. Once again he cursed the people who put him in this position he didn't ask for.

His secretary called him then, offering a momentary distraction, and he listened with a frown as she was both talking to him and yelling at someone that 'he' couldn't go in there. 'In there' would be his office. Tony sighed wearily. There was no running from this now that this chair was his. "It's fine. He can come in... No, it's okay. I know him."

The moment the door was unlocked, Gibbs stormed inside, nearly taking the door with him. "The door was locked."

Tony raised his brows. "Of course it was. Close the door, unless you want the entire building to hear us if you decide to start yelling."

Gibbs blinked for a moment before with surprising calmness he obeyed.

"Sit down, Agent," Tony spoke with authority that shocked Gibbs, but he actually obeyed again and as if he were in a trance, his eyes never leaving his former SFA. He had a flashback from that last day he saw him. Tony looked so much healthier now...

"You disappeared," Gibbs finally said. With few years without Tony around and pretty much every single day of thinking about him, he could hardly believe this was real. That he truly was back and sitting right there. Director DiNozzo... Somehow it was a fitting title for the younger man. At the same time he felt sorry for him, knowing how much Tony had always hated it when he was forced to work behind the desk and away from the field. This had to be torture.

"Jenny offered me a promotion and since nothing was holding me back, I took it."

Gibbs flinched and wondered since when Tony had started calling her Jenny and with a tone that spoke of familiarity. "Tony, I'm... I'm really..." He was struggling with the words.

"I really don't care, Gibbs. I would have loved to hear your apology or explanation, or even both, years ago... Now, I simply don't care anymore. It's not because I'm mad or hurt as I was back then. I just..."

Gibbs finished the sentence softly, "You no longer care... Where... Where did she send you?"

Tony shrugged almost bashfully. "Rota."

"Spain?" Gibbs' eyes widened. That had not been one of the places they had looked from and now he wondered _why not_. They should have turned the whole world upside down. Why hadn't he?

"Sure. Plenty of sun and pretty girls. It did me really good to spend some time in there. Especially to my lungs. I had a really good team. The best. They respected me and watched my six no matter what the situation was."

Gibbs flinched again. It was a hit after another hit. He actually wished DiNozzo would punch him for real, instead of doing this. "What I did was wrong, Tony, but you need to understand that I'd never..."

"Gibbs. It's fine. I do understand. I just don't understand the way you returned. But I didn't leave because of you. It was because other than Jimmy, I really had no one else here. No respect and no one watching my six. Then there were all the undercover operations Jenny kept using me for. I was completely burned out and was nearly killed after the last one, when I got too emotionally involved. The worst part is that I'm sure she knew it. I guess she wanted to get me out of the picture before anyone found out what she'd been doing and at the same time silence me."

"She did _what_?!"

Tony kept talking as if Gibbs hadn't just stood up and yelled in fury, "And when McGee and Ziva didn't do their share of the work, I was doing the work of the boss, my undercover operations and their jobs, whenever they decided what I made them do wasn't good enough for their superior skills or they knew better, since of course they are so much better than me who is _just a cop_. And I was watching my own six. So I'm sure you can understand that my mental state wasn't at the best place by the time you returned in your own special way. It was the talk of the year and some, reaching finally even Rota. I'm just glad that no one in there knew they were talking about me and my old team."

"If I had known..."

"You couldn't have done anything, if you would've even cared. You hardly even remembered me and you were all the way in Mexico. There was nothing you could have done. As for when you came back and added your share into that mess, by then it was already too late anyway."

Gibbs looked pained and he sat down slowly. He had thought that what he found out from the others was bad... It was way worse. What else didn't he know? Tony wasn't getting into any details and yet it was already this bad.

"But enough of me and my past life. It's good that you came here. There was one thing I was ordered to do before becoming a Director... Ziva David. There are many rather..." Tony pursed his lips as he chose his words carefully, to not give away too many details while the whole issue was still ongoing, although the main things were by now uncovered. "... _unfavorable_ things that have come out about her and her true nature of being here and also the reason why she killed her own brother."

Gibbs narrowed his eyes and glared at him, wondering how he knew it. "She did it for my sake."

Tony chuckled dryly. "Sure thing. You can keep believing that if you wish. What you do need to know is that while you are here, talking to me, she's been escorted out of the building. She'll be sent back to Israel and forbidden to return. Basically she'll be dead to this agency. I guess that by ignoring her existence, the big bosses can pretend they haven't allowed such a major security risk roam freely for such a long time. You know how it goes."

"What!?" Gibbs stood up again. He threw a furious look at Tony before storming out, the door slamming close behind him.

Rubbing his temples, Tony sighed. "That went well." At least better than he thought it would. Being a Director would surely give him several headaches. How he was going to survive them without taking any pain medication, he wouldn't know.

While it had not been his idea to investigate Ziva, but when the investigation against Jenny had started, many other issues started coming out as well, including the case of Ziva David who was still taking orders from her father. She was a major security risk and she was lucky that she would be only sent back home. Most likely it had something to do with who her father was... Had she been from some unknown family, without all the right connections, she wouldn't have made it anywhere near the NCIS in the first place. Then Jenny had died, literally a week before she would've been taken in for some questioning and possible arrest. So in a way they both avoided the big hammer of justice in this lifetime.

Tapping his fingers against the desk, Tony called Jimmy, asking him to join him for the lunch in his office. He both needed to see a friendly face and someone who was not trying to seek his favor through vain flattery. It was funny how so many people suddenly remembered what a wonderful person he had been when they had met in the past, while blatantly ignoring all the negative aspects of said meetings. He couldn't wait for Senior to find out his new status update...

* * *

It was a week since Ziva's 'removal' and Gibbs had avoided seeing Tony. Not that the younger man was even seeking his company anyway. Gibbs was between feeling angry at Tony and furious at Ziva. He didn't know all the details, but what he had found out was that Ziva had basically been a spy for her father. All her supposed loyalty and even the killing of her own brother, none of it was for Gibbs, but it had always been for Eli David.

Gibbs felt insulted, how like an old fool he'd been fooled by the woman he'd treated almost like his own daughter. When would he learn to stop trying to see Kelly in the young women in his life? It was almost as bad as when he saw a woman with red hair, his first thought was Shannon. Meanwhile, he had pushed aside the one person he used to treat like a son, way before Ziva or even Kate ever showed up. The man who had proved his loyalty over and over again.

"Boss. I think I found something." McGee sounded relieved and Gibbs glanced toward him. It was first time he even looked at the younger man, after finding out his part in making Tony's life hell while he had been in Mexico. Normally he would have brought his case straight to the Director, but now that DiNozzo of all people was their Director, it made things so much more complicated. "Few weeks before his death, our victim bought a small cabin with cash. It doesn't look like anyone knew about it."

Gibbs nodded and started picking up his things before walking toward the elevator. That was his way of letting them know in these days when it was time to 'gear up'. His team hurried after him and McGee was glad he wrote down the address before telling his boss about it.

Upstairs, Tony observed them with feelings of longing and envy. He wasn't sure what he missed most; working in the field or working with Gibbs. Once again he cursed the people who put him in this position. He was turning around when he heard the familiar footsteps. Clenching his teeth in order to not give in, he only had time to walk away few long steps.

"Tony! Please wait!" Abby cried out breathlessly. She didn't know where Tony lived and busy as he was, the only times she even had a chance of catching him were when he went to or came out of his office. So she had set up her very own 'Tony alert' system in her lab. Whenever the cameras caught a sight of him in certain places, she would know. Sadly, usually Tony was gone by the time she made it in the bullpen. This time she had taken the stairs instead of the elevator. "I just want to talk!"

Tony closed his eyes and he stopped. His resolution was gone the moment he opened his mouth. "My office."

Abby who was already half way on the stairs, gladly followed him in the office. Once they were away from the prying eyes and ears, she hugged him, crying. It had been far too long since she got to do this, to hug Tony who was like a brother to her. It was true what they say, that you didn't realize what you had until it was gone, and boy did she realize it loud and clear. At first she had been angry, thinking how _dare_ he abandon them, just like Gibbs had done. Only this time they had no idea where he might even be. Was he in danger or was he safe? Was he dead or alive? That's when the fear and worry came. When Tony's last message came to McGee, she had felt like a piece of her was gone forever. Now, here he finally was. Director Anthony DiNozzo. No, that wasn't correct. _Very Special_ Director Anthony DiNozzo. He could be the best Director ever. She was sure of it.

"I can't believe you are finally here... I'm so sorry, Tony. I swear I didn't realize... I didn't know. I was so full of my own grief and anger that I didn't see what you were going through. I'm so sorry..."

Tony kept clenching and unclenching his fists before he finally gave in and carefully hugged her back. They were standing in the middle of his office and it was where for the first time since leaving them, Tony knew he could honestly say those words. "I forgive you." He sighed then. "I've heard about that little DiNozzo shrine you set up in your lab... You didn't have to do that. You shouldn't have. You were right. I'm not Gibbs."

"Don't say that!" Abby punched his arm, before wrapping her arms around him again. "You're not Gibbs and that's good. There's only one Gibbs and there's only one you. When Gibbs was gone, I was lost. When you were gone... I don't know, Tony. I could swear that it was even worse. Everything was so much worse, because this time I realized that you left because of us. We chased you away. _I_ chased you away."

"Abby... It's not that simple."

"Don't Abby me. Just... Don't ever do this to us again." When Tony didn't promise anything, Abby hugged him tighter. She was terrified by what the silence meant. Was it agreement or a sign that he might disappear like that again? "Tony... _Please_ talk to Ducky. He's been so sad. He's been beating up himself ever since that day. You know he's not getting any younger."

"I'll talk to him. He'll be next on my list."

Abby sniffed. "I missed you... And with you gone, it was like Gibbs was gone too. I lost you both. I can't do it again."

Tony sighed heavily and once again cursed the people who put him in this position. He glanced at the coffee maker and the cupcakes waiting for him. "I know it's not the same as Caf-Pow, but... I've got good Italian coffee and some cupcakes that are the best in the whole city. I swear."

Abby finally pulled away from the hug with a warm look in her eyes as she smiled. "I would love to."

* * *

Facing Ducky was surprisingly hard thing to do. It wasn't like the good old doctor had done anything wrong on purpose. He'd just been far too deep in his own feelings of hurt to notice how much in trouble Tony had been, both personally and healthwise, without even getting into the mess he was in because of Jenny. However, it was now over a month since Tony returned and he had promised Abby, so he couldn't just push it any further away... He chose the moment when team Gibbs was once again gone, working on some case.

Walking in the autopsy, Tony nodded his hello to Jimmy who realized why he was down there, which was why he left the room quietly, with a smile on his face as he hoped that perhaps after this doctor Mallard would be happier and back to his normal self.

"Now, could you please hand me the..." The words died on Ducky's lips when he saw the man standing in the room.

"Ducky."

"Anthony..." Ducky dropped the scalpel he was holding and Tony rushed to catch him when the old man's knees buckled. It had nothing to do with him being weak or ill or anything, but everything to do with all the emotions and suddenly seeing his dear friend again, finally coming to see him; something Ducky for a long time thought would never happen. "I am fine..." Ducky reassured and held the helping arm and sat down on the chair where Tony took him to.

"Aren't those my words?" Tony was amused and Ducky looked at him with bright eyes.

"My dear boy..."

"I'm sorry, Ducky. I didn't mean to upset you, but I just couldn't look back once I left. I guess I was being a coward."

"No. Not at all, Anthony. You had every right to go and I regret to say this, but... Had you not left, we may have never known what we do now. How much you mean to us and how much we wronged you."

"Ducky..."

"Will you forgive me? I understand if you say no." Ducky looked at him with sadness and Tony couldn't help it. He hugged the old man. He had really missed Ducky and all those times when he really had needed Ducky to look over his injuries. To bully him into taking care of himself and to distract his mind with one of the stories.

"There is nothing to forgive, but if it makes you feel better then yes, I forgive you. I've forgiven a long ago. I just couldn't face what I left behind so I never even called. I know now it was wrong. I'm sorry..."

Ducky returned the hug tight enough to make Abby proud. "You have no reason to be sorry, my dear boy."

By the time Jimmy returned, the two men were already laughing together at some story Ducky had remembered that their situation reminded him of. Jimmy smiled happily. It seemed like all was starting to be good again. He had missed this light-hearted atmosphere in a place where no one should have any reasons to smile. That atmosphere used to be what made this place so special to him.

Picking up the scalpel, which he had left behind, Jimmy started working on the body again.

"Do not—!" Ducky tried to warn him.

Too late. Jimmy touched something that looked oddly distended and like the smallest touch could make it explode on your face. He didn't even want to know what he ended up covered with... Naturally Ducky explained it in great details. By then Tony left the room with tears in his eyes, laughing at the mortified look on his friend's face. For a moment it felt like those years between now and then didn't exist.

* * *

The hardest part was yet to come. McGee. With him Tony had no idea what to even say. As for Gibbs... His former boss had already shown whose side he was on. It hurt more than Tony thought it would. Especially after he had sworn to not let anything the man did or said move him and his feelings ever again.

Tony slammed his fist against his forehead in frustration. Even with Ziva he had already talked things through. Or rather, he talked and she hissed her usual ' _I can kill you with a paperclip_ ' threats. She had chosen the moment when he had been alone in the restroom. She was good at that, choosing when to show her true colors, when no one else saw.

Except she hadn't realized that this time he had been given, or rather _ordered_ , couple of his very own men in black to follow him around. All because of his bad habit of looking for trouble and the latest threat against his life. Now he couldn't even have his peace while in a restroom. Once again Tony had found himself cursing the people forcing him into his current position. Although, those men in black might have very well saved his life this time and they reported everything straight to SecNav who moved the original plan forward faster and that meant Ziva was off the picture sooner than planned. They couldn't exactly lose yet another Director so soon after the last one. If for no other reason, then to save their face.

Chewing a chewing gum with a thoughtful look on his face, Tony observed the bullpen from upstairs. It had become his newfound habit whenever he had nothing else to do and he got bored. He really hated this. He needed to get out more and he needed some privacy while doing so.

It was now a few days after his talk with Ducky and he was gathering courage to talk to McGee. Tony listened with a deep longing when Gibbs barked his ' _gear up_ ' order to his agents. He was finally talking to McGee again, so that was good. They were now one man down, which had to be fixed soon. It was sad really. The former team Gibbs was basically all gone. Tony could still remember the good old days when he and Gibbs were just that two man team. Things were perfect back then and no unnecessary drama. They were like that perfectly built and oiled machine that ran perfectly, until you started adding unnecessary gadgets to it that were not needed and only made things so much more complicated.

Tony listened closely where they were going and he thought for a moment. One more day holed up in that office and he would go raving mad, but first, he had to get rid of his bodyguards. Thinking about his options for a moment, he felt his trademark smile take over his face. Oh yes. _That_ could work. They would never even notice he was gone...

An hour later McGee was tagging the evidence at the crime scene when he heard the sound of a motorcycle. Seeing that Gibbs and their SFA were busy interviewing their eyewitness farther away, he figured it was up to him to do this. "Hey! This is a crime scene!" He ran toward the man who was now getting off his bike.

"Really, probie? I had no idea." Tony rolled his eyes and took off the helmet. McGee paled and then flushed red and then he paled again.

"Tony? W-what are you doing here?"

Tony shrugged. "I needed some fresh air."

McGee swallowed nervously and then glanced at the bike, then at Tony and then he tried to see where his bodyguards were. "At the crime scene? Where..?"

"I escaped." Tony smirked and looked very proud of himself. To his surprise McGee was pissed off.

"Are you insane!?"

That finally got Gibbs' attention and seeing who was standing there like it was no one's business, made him frown and he ordered his Agent to take over the interview while he himself was already striding toward the other two before the last word had even left his mouth.

"Calm down, McWorry."

"You're not just another Agent anymore, but now you're a walking target. You can't just... You can't do this! Not to us and not to yourself!"

"Breathe, McGee. I'll be fine. The situation is not as serious as it may look like."

McGee indeed was not looking too hot. Tony noticed for the first time that he had somehow aged ten years; he gave off the vibe of a man who was much older than he should be. Working under someone like Gibbs could do that to you, especially when you no longer had certain Very Special SFA taking the worst for you.

"Tony... I'm sorry... You should fire me."

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess I should."

"Then do it! I know what happened to Ziva. Waiting for what's coming for me is driving me mad."

"You really don't see it?" Tony shook his head. He could hear Gibbs getting closer, although he had slowed down, seeing that the two of them were talking.

"See what, Tony? That you're enjoying this? You're finally getting your revenge and who could blame you." McGee sounded bitter.

"Tim... You should know me better than that. I have no pleasure seeing people I care about suffer."

McGee looked at Tony with startled and guilt filled look on his face. "People you care about?"

"Sure. You think it would have affected me as much as it did, had I not cared about you? As pathetic as it sounds, but you people were my family. I never had one and maybe that's why I allowed so many things happen that I normally wouldn't have. I didn't want to lose my family... But then I realized we never were one. It was my mistake to think we were."

"Tony..."

"It's fine now. While I was gone, I grew up for a bit."

"It's not fine. What I said to you before you... before you disappeared without a word. When I told you that you... You know. I felt so bad after it and then I found out you were promoted again. And now you're the Director. It's... It's too weird to be honest."

"It's fine."

"I have a faint memory of what your _I'm fine_ means," McGee pointed out dryly and Tony chuckled.

"Let's just say I forgive you and you forgive me for leaving you to take on the wrath of Gibbs."

"Why?"

"Why I left you to deal with Gibbs yourself?"

"No... Why do you forgive?"

"I've had plenty of time to think and I decided to give you another chance. You never were a bad person, McGee. Just a little lost."

McGee shook his head. "You're an idiot... You know that right?"

"I'm an idiot who is your boss. The big boss." Tony grinned, looking amused and McGee finally cracked a small smile.

"How did that happen? I never thought I would see the day. Director DiNozzo..."

Tony made a face. "You and I both. It's not as fun as it may look, probie. Trust me. Even you would not enjoy this too long."

"Then why did you become one?"

"I was... Uh... I was tricked."

McGee stared, trying to figure out if it was a joke or not, but there was a dead serious look on Tony's face. "You were what? How does that even happen?"

"I'd rather not talk about it."

"But—"

"DiNozzo." Gibbs finally had enough of waiting and he stepped forward, looking grim.

"Bo— Gibbs." Tony found his voice turning icy without even trying.

"McGee. Go do the work I told you to do," Gibbs ordered.

McGee glanced between the two men nervously, but when both of them gave him 'the look', he almost ran away.

"What are you doing here, DiNozzo?"

"I didn't know I need to let you know. You're no longer my boss. In fact, it would seem that I'm now your boss. How strangely life works out sometimes. Doesn't it?"

Gibbs clenched his teeth. He didn't want to argue. He wanted to apologize. To explain. So why did he do this? "Well, as the Director you should not come out in the open like this. I may not know the reason for those bodyguards, but I know it must be for a perfectly good reason."

"I'm not a child who needs to be looked after, Gibbs."

"Then don't act like one."

If looks could kill, they would be both dead by now. Finally Tony chuckled humorlessly and he sat on the bike, putting the helmet back on his head. "You know what... I thought that maybe we could talk things over, to make working in the same building a little bit easier for us both and everyone around us... But if this is how you want things to be, then fine."

"Tony..." Gibbs cursed himself in his mind and held out his hand to touch Tony's shoulder, but the younger man shrugged it off.

"Don't. Get back to work. I have to return anyway, before the men in black realize I'm gone. Be a good Agent and don't scare your mini agents too much." Tony waved his hand and took off with the bike he had borrowed from the janitor.

Gibbs was frustrated. Why couldn't he just say it? Say what he really wanted the kid to know. Sure, Tony was no longer a kid, but to him he always was that same bright-eyed young Detective he had found in Baltimore all those years ago. How he wanted those days back... There were no words for it.

"Boss... It's still not too late." McGee had decided to be brave enough and returned just as Tony left.

"Didn't I just tell you to—?"

"We can take it from here. We're almost done anyway. Go back and we'll meet you there."

Gibbs glared, but inwardly he was secretly impressed by this sudden improvement. If only a few minutes alone with DiNozzo did this to the man, he should make sure to send McGee to Tony more often.

"Watch his six and make sure he watches yours." Gibbs nodded toward their SFA who was now looking at them with confusion. The poor guy was really feeling even more left out in these days and while Gibbs didn't like him, he knew they had to do something about that soon enough. If only he would care enough, because the truth was he still wished to get his former SFA back. Even if he now knew it was never going to happen.

"We will, boss. Just go. We'll return with Ducky once he's done with the other body."

Gibbs jogged to their car and less than a minute later he drove off, hoping to catch Tony in time. Maybe they could stop on the way to have some coffee.

He had been driving for fifteen minutes with his usual speed and when he still didn't see Tony anywhere, Gibbs was starting to get worried and his gut was churning. He almost missed it because of his speeding, but then he noticed Tony standing on the road next to his bike and he was holding his hands up while two men wearing masks were yelling at him something, clearly wanting him to get in their car where the third man was waiting. The helmet from Tony's head looked like it had been carelessly tossed on the ground. Gibbs was out of his car just when Tony did the foolish thing, jumping at the closest man holding the weapon at him. Several shots were fired and Gibbs felt his blood run cold.

"Tony!" Gibbs didn't bother with words and just shot the men right there, between eyes and in the heart. The third man was smart enough to escape with the car. Gibbs didn't even care as he dropped on his knees next to his fallen friend. After a quick search, he felt relief flood through him when he found the bulletproof vest under the clothes.

"You really thought I'm stupid enough to let them kill me so easily?" Tony muttered as he sat up slowly and gingerly.

Gibbs did something he hadn't done in such a long time; he head slapped the younger man and then he wrapped his arms around him tightly. "You ever do something like this again, I will kill you myself, _Director_. You hear me?"

Tony winced. While he was lucky to be wearing the vest, he would surely have some nice bruises later. "Thought you didn't care."

While he had joked, Gibbs heard the insecurity and he hugged tighter. "I'm sorry... For a moment I though it was too late. That I couldn't tell you how truly sorry I am for everything that happened and what I've done. The way I left you to deal with Ziva and McGee on your own. Left you to deal with Jenny and whatever she put you through... I betrayed your trust. I broke my own rules. And now I'm afraid I'll never get back what we had..."

Tony head slapped Gibbs gently and the older man finally pulled away with a frown. The younger man grinned. "You talk too much."

Gibbs snorted. "Had to get it all off my chest. When I thought my chance was gone and— What were you thinking!? Leaving your bodyguards!"

"Gibbs... Relax."

" _Relax_?!"

"Sure it may have been stupid, but you of all people should know I was not meant to sit in some office day after day. Not when the sun is shining and all the real excitement is outside those walls. If I were, I would've chosen a career my father always wanted me to choose."

Gibbs shook his head fondly. "Never do something like this again... You should have never become a Director if you can't handle the boredom."

"I was tricked into it. I refused the first offer and so... I was tricked."

"How does that even happen?" Gibbs frowned and Tony made a face.

"A bet. I lost it."

"You lost..? DiNozzo..."

"Don't ask. I was drunk. _Really_ drunk. It was just me, my teammates, a few of the bosses and a piece of paper I don't remember signing. I was that wasted... It was worse than that week in Vegas with my frat brothers years ago. At least back then I woke up next to a beautiful brunette who had a big gorilla as a boyfriend, and not a piece of paper and balloons that said _congrats_."

Since when did Tony go out drinking with the higher-ups? Gibbs had no doubt that he would surely love to find out what DiNozzo had been up to during all these years... Maybe it was the lack of sleep or all that had happened in the last weeks or just how ridiculous this entire situation was, but Gibbs started laughing.

"I'm glad to know you find it amusing." Tony rolled his eyes and then he looked at the two bodies on the road. "Man... Now there's no way I can just sneak back. We're going to have to call this in."

"You think?" Gibbs snorted and wrapped his arm around Tony's shoulders, unwilling to let go anytime soon. "I'll make the call. You just focus thinking how to talk yourself out of this one."

"Aww. Thanks," Tony muttered with sarcasm. He couldn't talk himself out of this one. Not today.

* * *

They couldn't and they didn't try to fix what was broken. They knew there was no way to do it, so they did the next best thing; they started anew. To seal the 'deal', they had booked a table in a restaurant next weekend after the close call with the bad guys.

The others were slowly getting used to the 'men in black' following Tony around as the threat wasn't gone yet. Gibbs had actually 'lightened up' enough to jokingly say to the men that they better get used to this being what they would do for the rest of their careers. After all DiNozzo had started collecting enemies way before even becoming an Agent. There would always be some new trouble to show up after the last one had been dealt with. It wasn't like Gibbs was any better in that aspect, but at least he wasn't the Director of the NCIS. It was the strangest thing, but he was actually starting to get used to the idea of his former SFA as his boss. At least he knew they worked together much better than he would've if the Director had been someone else. Not to say there would never be any tempers going hot anymore; life wasn't that easy.

Tony made a face and pointed his former boss with the steak knife. "Don't give them any ideas. As lovely as they and their other buddies are, I can take care of myself."

"So you say..." Gibbs chuckled. He gave the younger man a once-over, knowing perfectly well where each of those bruises under the clothes were. Most were from when he had fallen down with the bike, but one was from where he'd been shot. Gibbs had not wasted any time getting Ducky to check him up for any hidden injuries.

"Don't do that," Tony muttered, but there was a small smirk on his lips.

Gibbs chuckled again. It was like after each new day his general mood was only getting better. "Just glad you didn't die back there."

Tony stopped eating for a moment, seeing how dark the look on the older man's face became. "Hey, I wouldn't dare to die on your watch, right?"

"You better not."

"Besides... You're the one who works in the field where all the bad guys are."

The two of them had rather quickly forgotten everyone else in the room. Even those sitting around the table with them. Tony had even invited his 'successor', but the man had declined politely, not feeling comfortable enough to want to spend his own free time with people he worked with. He was one of those 'strictly professional' people. For that, Tony kind of envied him. It certainly had not been the way he had dealt with things in the past.

"Guys!" Abby had finally had enough of staying quiet. As much as she did enjoy seeing her favorite men smiling and looking all relaxed, enough was enough. "When will you invite us to your home? I bet it's something nice, right? I don't think they would allow you to live in some place where anyone can just march in."

Jimmy brightened. "Oh yes! It's amazing! You wouldn't believe if I told you. Even the piano has its own room. I think it's the only thing not completely new in the house. Well, other than his movies and such and... and... Uh..." Tony looked amused as his friend flushed red at the realization he had opened his mouth all excited, not even knowing if Tony wanted anyone to know. Then he paled.

"It's alright, Jimmy."

"I should have asked you first..."

"It's fine. Really. I would have been mad before, I'm sure, but sooner or later they would have found out anyway."

"You're living in some mansion now?" McGee asked, hint of envy in his tone, and Tony rolled his eyes.

"No. Not a mansion. Just a house."

Jimmy was the one to roll his eyes now. He would have other words to describe the place, but 'just a house' was not one of them.

Tony sighed, with a hint of smile on his lips. "Fine... I'll invite you guys next time we all have the time off."

Abby cheered. _She_ sure couldn't wait and the men could already see ideas forming in her mind... Ideas they happily did not want to know anything about.

After some more attempts to get answers out of Tony about his 'just a house', especially since Jimmy now refused to say anything else, they finally focused on their now almost cold food, after Ducky strictly ordered them to let it go for now.

Tony looked at them with a hint of sadness in his eyes. There was no way he could let them too close to his heart ever again and it pained him. He just couldn't risk it again.

Gibbs frowned, seeing how quiet Tony had become and how he barely even touched his food. He looked at the younger man with question in his eyes, but Tony just smiled and shook his head. He really didn't want to talk about it and especially not here. Gibbs understood. He also realized they had still a long way to go before he would be the one Tony came to when he needed to talk to someone. It hurt, but this was where they now where. This was where _he_ now stood. It hurt, but it was better than before. It _really_ hurt, but there was no way Gibbs 'the second b for bastard' would miss out on the important things again.

Raising up his glass of bourbon, Gibbs spoke so quietly only Tony heard him, "Semper Fi." _Never again. I'll watch your six from now on_.

Tony gave a small nod, having understood perfectly the hidden message behind those words. "Semper Fi." _I never stopped watching yours._


	2. How Did It Happen?

He stood there staring at his things, dumped on his old desk. Standing there and watching his— no, _Gibbs'_ team rejoicing that the old bastard had returned, made him feel like he too had been tossed aside without a second thought. Worthless and already forgotten. If someone happened to look at him, he would force a shaky smile on his face.

Abby had even dared to ask him, _"Isn't it great to have Gibbs back?"_ And all he was able to come up with was something so great as, _"Yes. It's great. Couldn't be happier."_

It was all too much and suddenly he felt like the walls in the room were falling on him and there was no air to get in his lungs. Not that anyone would even notice he was gone, Tony slipped away unnoticed and made his way to the rooftop. Pulling at the front of his shirt, he kept gasping for his breath and tried to blink away the black spots in front of his eyes. He had no idea how long he had been there, leaning against the wall and clawing at his throat as he tried to keep breathing. At some point he felt a hand touching his face, moving his head so he was facing the other person. That someone was talking to him gently and he realized then that he was no longer standing, but he was sitting with the other man crouching down in front of him.

"Jimmy," Tony managed to wheeze out.

His friend frowned and repeated his previous words, "Breathe, Tony. Match my breathing."

Tony closed his eyes and focused doing just that. After a while he had his breathing under control again, even if the ghost feeling of panic was still there. He would've been embarrassed had it been anyone else other than Jimmy there with him. Jimmy who had already been there for him during some of his most embarrassing moments of weaknesses. Mainly whenever his ailing health was giving him a hard time.

"Thanks, man."

"What happened? I saw you running past me, so I didn't stay behind to find out."

Remembering what had caused this reaction in the first place, Tony laughed bitterly and still somewhat breathlessly. "Gibbs is back."

"Yeah. So I heard."

"No, Jimmy. He's _back_. As in he dumped my things on my old desk and everyone is acting like the time he was gone never happened. They certainly couldn't be happier now that they no longer have to tolerate me as their boss. I don't think I ever really was their boss. Not in their eyes."

"Oh, Tony..."

"Don't. I don't need your pity. Although I have to confess that I thought I at least deserved a fair warning or something. I'd say the second b is back worse than before."

Had he been brave enough, Jimmy would've stormed in the bullpen and ripped a new exit route for all those who even dared to think of themselves as Tony's friends or teammates. All who had never earned that loyalty. As it was, he was still awfully tempted to try his luck anyway. Especially when Tony looked at him with that look in his eyes. And if those sad and wounded puppy dog eyes didn't break his heart, then Jimmy knew his heart would've been made of stone.

"Was I really that bad leader? I know I'm no Gibbs, but I thought I was at least good enough replacement until the boss came back. Now that I think about it, _you'll do_ isn't exactly a thing to say to someone if you think they can do the job. I guess I just happened to be there and so he had to settle for me..."

"You know that's not— Well, _I_ know that's not true. I'd say anyone with their brains still fully functioning knows that." Jimmy cursed team Gibbs—plus Abby and to some extent even Ducky—for destroying what little self worth there still had been left in Tony. He cursed Director Shepard who did see what her Agent was worth, but instead chose to waste it away by making him work himself half dead with those undercover works, while still working his other full time job with those dead weights riding on his coattails.

"I'm not that great, but it's nice to know that you think that way about me."

Jimmy shook his head. How could he make the man see the truth and his own worth and maybe finally do the smart thing and leave while he still could? "Look, Tony... Let me tell you something. I'm no Agent. God knows I couldn't do the job you do, but that doesn't mean I don't know by now what it takes to be the very best. You my friend are that and more."

Tony looked uncomfortable, as he always did when someone actually did give him compliments. Looking so unsure of himself and not knowing how to take kind words. Unfortunately people like Gibbs took it as a positive sign to keep up with their usual abuse and worse yet, they added more to it, thus making it even harder for the smallest acts of kindness to be something Tony was comfortable with. Jimmy decided then that one of these days the two of them were going to sit down and have a long unpleasant talk about childhoods and parents. But now wasn't that time.

"It's true that Gibbs is the boss, but you know what he's not? He's no leader. Where he bosses people around and tells them what to do, you are there and you lead. You lead in every sense of the word. Anyone can be a boss, but very few can lead."

"I've never heard you speak so much and use such big words before, Jimbo." Tony smiled weakly and Jimmy flushed red, but he refused to back down.

"A-and I meant every word, Tony."

"Whatever you say..." Tony looked away and Jimmy felt frustrated and helpless. He was running out of options how to pull his friend back on his feet, when those around him kept pushing him down as soon as he was standing again. Sometimes before he even had the chance to get up first.

"At least think about what we talked the other day. It's way past the time that you finally accept another job. You need to go to someplace where the air is not so toxic all the time."

Tony didn't say anything and Jimmy could only pray quietly in his mind that something or someone could save the man before it was too late.

* * *

_"Think about it, Tony."_

Tony stood on the rooftop again, thinking about Jenny's words. The rooftop had become his safe haven of some sorts, sometime after Gibbs had hightailed to Mexico. Only Jimmy knew to look for him from there when he couldn't be found elsewhere and the two of them had spent several bonding moments up there. He may have lost everything when it came to Gibbs, their team and even Abby and Ducky, but he had gained a friendship that was worth all that and so much more, many times over.

He smiled as he remembered the nasty look Jimmy gave him when he joked about starting to smoke, because somehow this place was almost demanding it. He might have even thrown in some movie quote to make his point, but for the life of him Tony couldn't remember what it was, which was perhaps one of the first big warning signs that should have told him that maybe he really was not doing so hot in these days... And he really had not needed that long sermon about his damaged lungs and cancer and... God only knew he had tried, but at some point Tony eventually zoned out and missed rest of it. Jimmy was seriously starting to remind him of Ducky, the Ducky from few years ago, but certainly before this whole Gibbs drama.

Tony frowned and rubbed his chest when it felt oddly tight in there again, which was something he didn't dare to mention or Jimmy might really make him go see Brad again, who was another one to surely start some long nagging and doctor speech about his health or lack of it. Tony already knew how ill he looked, even when he avoided looking in the mirror lately. All he needed was to see the looks Jimmy kept throwing his way too often these days.

Rubbing his chest again, Tony tried to picture it. Rota. It probably would be good for him, healthwise... And maybe Jimmy was right and he did need a fresh start. Although, McGee's degrading comment only a moment ago about his leading skills really made him hesitate. What if he failed even worse? He didn't think he could handle that kind of failure again.

Hearing the footsteps behind him, Tony glanced over his shoulder. "Rota."

"What?" Jimmy looked at him curiously and offered Tony the daily nutritional drink. Well, more like he gave it without taking no for an answer. He had started making those drinks when he first found out how little his friend was eating and the alarming speed Tony's health had started deteriorating. The first bigger turning point had been when Tony had thrown up his favorite pizza, or more like it was the first bigger issue when Jimmy had been there to see it.

"Jenny offered me the position in Rota."

Jimmy looked awed. He rearranged his glasses several times and then he started smiling. "That's wonderful! You are taking it of course!" His smile vanished at the look on Tony's face, which wasn't unhappy, but not happy either. "Oh no... Please tell me you didn't turn it down?"

"I promised to think about it."

"Oh, you can't— Alright, I guess that's better than refusing. You must go, Tony."

"You trying to get rid of me?"

"W-What? I-I'd _never_..."

Tony laughed softly and gave a friendly pat on his stuttering friend's shoulder. He pretended to not notice how his hand was trembling slightly as a yet another sign on the growing list of things, which were his body practically screaming for rest and much healthier lifestyle. "Relax. I was just teasing. One would think you're used to that by now."

Jimmy didn't point out how they had rarely seen Tony and his jokester side anymore. "You need this, Tony. And Rota? It couldn't be more perfect. There's the distance, fresh start, the climate... And you can truly be the leader to people who are hopefully much more worthy."

Choosing not to comment on that last bit, or the clear disdain in his friend's voice, Tony shook his head and he took a sip of the drink. Making a face, he wondered not for the first time what on earth Jimmy had put in it this time. "And if I fail them also, then what?"

With a spark of anger in his eyes, Jimmy looked at him seriously. "You never failed anyone. It's _them_ who— Stop thinking if you can or can't. What do you want to do? Let me rephrase that... What would you want to do if Gibbs wasn't around? Would you hate the idea of Rota?"

"I would love it," Tony admitted softly, staring at his drink. "Opportunity like this doesn't happen everyday, I know that. Do you really think I should..?"

"Yes."

They shared a companionable silence as Tony finished his drink under Jimmy's watchful eyes. Jimbo sure had grown a sturdy backbone when he hadn't been looking... Finally, Tony sighed and grinned wryly. Somehow he had a feeling this wouldn't be happening without Jimmy. "I'm going to miss you, man."

"Of course I will visit you when I can," Jimmy promised. As much as he wanted Tony to go, he had to know and see it with his own eyes that this truly was the right decision. He was never going to speak out his doubts though—this was about saving his friend—and he would never forgive himself if he didn't support Tony when there was even the smallest chance that this thing could be the turning point in the man's life. The right one.

* * *

Tony cast one last look around the bullpen. He knew that there was a very high possibility he would never see this place again. This had been his home for such a long time. Well, until it wasn't. It was the longest time he had ever worked in one place and for that reason alone it would always have a special place in his heart. He had experienced so much, learned so much, and lost way too much. More than he had gained. Even the damage caused by Danny hadn't been anywhere near this bad. Truly, it couldn't be even compared to this. Jimmy was right. It was time.

' _It's not the goodbye that hurts, but the flashbacks that follows..._ ' He couldn't even remember where that quote was from, but it seemed appropriate. The first thing he would be doing on his first work free day—since the last one had been such unlawfully long time ago—he would hopefully finally get some rest so that half of his mind would no longer be constantly in haze.

Team Gibbs had already left a few hours ago and Tony was left behind to finish his work, which was mostly paperwork. For the first time in years Tony didn't even touch the paperwork Gibbs should be doing himself. If the old man wanted to be the leading Agent to the point where he didn't even care how he took back that position, he might as well start acting like one... Somehow it was easy to imagine how the work was going to end up on McGee's and Ziva's desks. Tony felt small satisfaction over that thought, not to mention the thought of how the boss would deal not having his SFA filter and fix those papers so that they were up to the high standards of Gibbs. But then, maybe it would be only McGee doing it all, since he couldn't really see Ziva going along with that, even if it was Gibbs ordering her to do so. With another wave of bitterness and hurt, Tony didn't see Gibbs doing that to her anyway.

Tony had debated for weeks whether he should say something to the others, to Gibbs. Would they be mad at him when they found out he was gone and not coming back? Maybe they wouldn't even care. Alright, the boss would be mad, but would it be because he did care about his SFA or would it be because he had done this without the permission of the mighty Gibbs?

After Tony had made up his mind and accepted the promotion in Rota, he had become much more motivated finishing his undercover jobs. Maybe a little too motivated, as the last one ended up being nearly fatal. It was pure dumb 'luck' that he was still alive. Only Jenny and Jimmy were aware of the close call.

Well, Jimmy obviously didn't know the details, but he knew enough, which was why he had looked deathly pale for days afterwards. If he had been hovering near his friend before that incident, then more so now. To the point where said friend had almost snapped at him several times, when the almost smothering worry was becoming too much. Thankfully it got less invasive with time and Tony could finally stop looking over his shoulder all the time. Like when he wanted to use the bathroom in peace and not end up with Jimmy hovering near him and asking uncomfortable questions about his health. Like what color was his... you know.

That last undercover 'gig' most certainly hadn't ended without problems, but at least it was now behind him and Tony didn't want to think about it ever again, didn't want to think about the shattered hearts he had left behind. His and hers. He didn't need more heartbreak than there already was. Not surprisingly, Jenny had agreed with him. He was still sure it had been something much more personal for her than it was proper, but at this point he didn't even want to know anymore. He just wanted to be gone. Jimmy was right. He needed to get away. Maybe rediscover himself again. Or bury himself so deep not even the greatest bloodhounds could ever find him again.

Tony looked at the envelope on Gibbs' desk. It was laying on top of the box that he had been keeping hidden and safe in his drawer for such a long time. As for the letter... It was his personal letter for the boss. Would the man even want to read it? Remembering what he wrote, Tony took it back and left the bullpen fast before he changed his mind again. If the boss wanted to find out what happened to his former SFA, Jenny could give the man the bare minimum. That was what they had agreed on and it was what he was going to stick with.

Humming softly a song to himself, " _Say goodbye to the oldies, but goodies, because the good old days weren't always good and tomorrow ain't as bad as it seems_..." Tony stepped inside the elevator, feeling lighter than he had felt since forever. He even dared to grin somewhat dopily when the sudden feeling of freedom shot through his blood like some kind of happy drug.

As he went, Tony looked around himself again, for the last time perhaps. It was all so... far too bittersweet. Or bitter and sappy at the same time, as he was remembering the good moments, the crumbs of happiness. It would seem that throughout his life, crumbs were all he was ever going to get... It would be easy to turn around and go back, but he knew from past experience that soon enough he would remember every reason why he was leaving now, so he kept going and stopped looking behind.

The security guard looked at him curiously when instead of a ' _see you_ ' whenever, he told him ' _goodbye_ '.

It was very late by the time Tony was finally sitting inside the airplane a few hours later. He had said his final goodbye to no one else besides Jimmy, who had sent him to the airport. Poor guy had looked like someone had shot his puppy as he stood there waving at him and watching him go. All that was missing was the waving of a handkerchief and running after the plane.

Although Tony gave some of his things to Jimmy, most of his furniture and other earthly possession had been moved to a temporary storage, until he figured out what to do with it all. Keep it or sell it? Did he even care about most of it? Maybe he should've just torched it all as a form of purification ritual; thrown in a few mementos from his time working with Gibbs. The more precious things to him had been already shipped to his new home in Spain. Things like his ever growing movie collection, his piano and things that couldn't be replaced. He was thankful that his frat brother had found him the perfect place. Well, the man had told him it was be the perfect place and he chose to believe in those words. Thankfully their taste was similar and the man knew what he liked and needed, so Tony wasn't _too_ worried.

Leaning back in his seat, Tony let out a satisfied sigh as he stretched out his long legs. He had chosen to spoil himself for a change and had bought himself a first class ticket. One way of course. There was an odd feeling of satisfaction in those words when he bought it. At least he would be leaving his old life behind with style. Taking out his new phone, Tony made a goofy face—the man sitting on the other side of the aisle looked at him oddly—and took a picture of himself with the first class seats as his background. He then proceeded to send it to Jimbo.

"Sir?"

Tony blinked and looked up from his phone when he realized he was that 'sir' and the flight attendant was offering him something to drink. It nearly slipped from his mouth to say no, but then as a sign of almost rebellion he smiled brightly and took the offered champagne, which of course just demanded him to take another picture...

Taking out the three files, which Jenny had given to him before, Tony relaxed completely in his seat and opened the first one. The files contained the basic information of his new team members, nothing secret of course, but just enough so that he could start getting to know the people he would work with.

Aaron Arland was going to be his SFA. The man was few years older than he and, with small amount of dread, Tony hoped the man wouldn't hold it against him. What he did like though was the fact that the brawny looking man was a former cop, like he was. At least they had some common ground there... He would give it a fifty-fifty of how well the two of them would get along. But for now it was hard to tell without some more data. He would have to work on that part later.

Opening the second file, Tony's scanned over that one. Another computer genius, which of course didn't mean she was going to be McGeek number two. She might actually be quite wonderful and respectful person. Someone with her feet steady on the ground and head screwed on right. If she was good enough, she might be really useful when trying to keep his old team off his tracks... He would much rather not have to start calling in his favors for it.

As Tony opened the third file, he almost spat out his drink. Checking over the other two files again and then going back to the last one, he started chuckling. He didn't know if they would like him, but he found himself getting more interested, the more interesting his new team started to look. And new ideas were already starting to form in his head...

* * *

It was more than a week later before Tony finally went to his new workplace. Going for the surprise attack, he didn't inform his team beforehand the exact time of his arrival. It gave him plenty of room to mentally prepare for any possible screw ups. Standing outside the building, he counted to ten before moving forward. To anyone looking at him he looked calm and collected, which was complete opposite to how he was feeling inside. It was almost like being the new kid, going to a new school and hoping the other kids would like him. He really shouldn't be feeling like that at his age.

Meanwhile, his new team was waiting for him. The agents were all curious and more than once one of them looked around to see if their new boss was finally coming and not one of the other workers in there.

Samantha S. Sheffield—or Sam—sat by the windows, drinking her ice coffee. The youngest of them all was looking excited. Thanks to the coffee, she was almost bubbling with energy. "What do you think he is like?"

Lacy Lamb—the computer genius of their team—looked up from her laptop. "His name is Anthony D. DiNozzo Junior. I still haven't figured out what the D stands for. I swear it's some national secret and when I finally figure out a way to crack it open, we'll have men in black come after us, never to be seen again. He's exactly one year older than me, so we will be sharing our birthdays. I hope you guys are ready; two birthdays in one, so it should be twice the effort and fun."

Aaron Arland—the oldest of them all—snorted and barely even glanced at his longtime partner. He didn't care what their new boss was like. As long as the man was good at his work, then that was all they needed. It didn't hurt either that the boss was a man. Having spent the last week, and then that one dreadful weekend before that, with two women ganging up on him was already enough and more than he could take. "That's all the information you have on him? I'm shocked."

Lacy glared at him. The man should know better than to insult her skills. "Of course not. There's just too much information and some of it is classified. A lot of classified actually. For someone his age, I'm a little surprised."

"Classified? Well, now I'm intrigued." Aaron rolled his chair closer and looked at the laptop over Lacy's shoulder. The chair protested loudly whenever the big man moved. He frowned when his eyes spotted the words ' _disowned_ ' and ' _age 12_ '. Deciding it was none of his business to read such personal information, he skipped the all too personal history and focused instead on the professional side of things. "Well, it all does seem very impressive... I hope he's not one of those people who think they are above everyone else. We need no Captain Arrogant here."

Sam coughed to get their attention and the agents turned around just in time to see a tall man standing there. It was their new boss. It was impossible to know what he was thinking or how much he had seen or heard, but they felt guilty either way. The man certainly looked even better in person. Much better. Even if he was a bit too skinny and a little too pale, with dark circles around his eyes. Any darker than that and he could be nicknamed Agent Panda. Almost as a shared thought, the women of the team made it their mission to start feeding their boss, while Aaron their dedicated sun lover decided that the man needed a few dates with the sun. The younger man looked too much like some vampire next to him.

Another moment passed by in awkward silence and then suddenly the man smiled, and _oh boy_ did he know how to smile... "My Initials! I must say it is my pleasure to finally meet you all."

"Ini... tials?" Sam hesitated to even ask what he meant by that. The other two however looked like a light bulb had been turned on over their heads.

"I can't believe I never saw that..." Aaron cursed his sloppiness, voicing both his and Lacy's feelings, and he looked at their boss with new eyes and some respect.

Tony nodded and looking pleased with himself, he scanned the room with his eyes as he was explaining 'the Initials' to them. "Aaron Arland or A.A., Lacy Lamb or L.L. and then last but not least, our triple S."

"Oh!" Sam gasped as she finally got the joke. It was just a joke, right..?

"Alright then... I'm Anthony DiNozzo, but call me Tony, and whatever you do _never_ call me Mr. DiNozzo. Mr. DiNozzo is my old man. I'm your new boss, but never call me that. I'm really not the boss type." Tony looked thoughtful for a moment and then he smiled, the face of Jimmy flashing in his mind. "I prefer to lead. I will be expecting each one of you to do your best, to make our team and teamwork the best it can get."

Aaron frowned when he thought he saw a faint glimmer of uncertainty in the younger man's eyes. It was something to think about. But not today. "So, _leader_. Would you like a quick tour? After proper introductions of course."

"Maybe later. I need to finish some paperwork first. There is always some paperwork, even when you think there shouldn't be. I have a theory, conspiracy theory if you will, that someone is doing this just for their own twisted enjoyment to watch us suffer through boredom and paper cuts. But tell me something... How do you feel about campfires?"

"Campfires?" Sam repeated with a blank face.

"Ah. Well, I guess I'll explain later... I'll see you guys again." Tony nodded and hurried away, leaving his new team staring after him.

Aaron shook his head and then turned to look at the others. "Is it just me or was our new not-boss in a way too much hurry to get away from us?"

"I'm sure you were just imagining it." Lacy smirked, feeling sorry for this DiNozzo. Nobody ignored Aaron, unless they wanted to discover they had a Siamese twin attached to them, until he was no longer ignored and could move on to his next victim. She was just glad it was no longer her part. Anyone who knew her now would never believe that before meeting Aaron Arland, she used to be your stereotype geek. It would be interesting to see their bulldog attach its teeth on someone else...

* * *

It took few weeks for the team to get used to their new not-boss and his unique leading style. Agent DiNozzo most certainly was nothing they had expected. The word 'textbook' wasn't something you could even think when you tried to describe him, not that they were complaining. Unique or not, the man knew what he was doing and he got the results to prove it.

Tony had dubbed his team as 'the Initials' and looking quite proud of it too. Only Sam still frowned whenever the name was being used. As for Aaron and Lacy... Those two seemed to enjoy their new name almost a little bit too much. Much more than Tony did. It was they who spread the new nickname outside the team. And they too had their fun nicknaming their leader. The most used ones were 'not-boss' and every way they could possibly use the word 'leader'.

Although for Sam it took much longer to warm up to the man, the agents liked their leader, both personally and professionally. However the deeper level of respect was yet to be born. That would take couple of bigger cases behind them and by then they would know just what he was capable of, which more often than not meant their leader was throwing away the care toward his own safety. In his defense, many of those legendary acts to come couldn't have been done without such willingness to ignore basic human instincts to keep yourself safe.

Meanwhile, every once in a while Aaron the most observant one among the three, saw moments of uncertainty before Agent DiNozzo gave his agents commands or asked them to do something. At times Aaron even thought he saw hint of fear in the man's eyes. It was like observing someone who had been badly wounded and was covering up as best as said wounds allowed him. It was all very skillfully covered up, but being the trained cop he was and the fact that he now kept his sharp eyes on the other man at all times, Aaron was no longer fooled by those flashy smiles or seemingly confident leading style.

Aaron was startled out of his deep wonderings when his partner spoke suddenly, breaking their silent working. Lacy had a sly look on her face when she looked at Tony. "You know, my sister is still asking about you."

Tony looked almost frozen to the spot as he remembered the woman and her sharp fingernails, but he recovered quickly and flashed his now already famous smile at her. "No time to be dating anyone. Keep looking over those bank records."

Lacy frowned unhappily. "You have time for Aaron."

"That's because I drag our beloved leader with me whether he wants it or not." Aaron looked up from his computer without a sign of guilt. He was looking self-satisfied. While still a little too pale for his liking, DiNozzo was already looking much better. At least those panda eyes were gone. More than once he had been tempted to borrow Sam and her makeup skills, to at least try to make the man look less like someone who just came from the wrong side of the grave. It wouldn't do anyone good if their not-boss was mistaken as one of their dead victims.

"Stop giving her anymore ideas," Tony ordered when Lacy was looking thoughtful.

The first thing Aaron had done after getting the new boss, was to find out where the man lived and then he showed up there early in the next morning to take him to work with his car. And then the morning after that. And again the next morning after that one. And so on. On that first morning the Agent had looked utterly baffled. By the fourth morning the confused look had changed into almost strained smile. After the first week, Aaron was wordlessly invited to share the morning coffee. From then on forwards Aaron had made it his mission to get the other Agent used to having him around. Professional was good, but he was one who liked being friendly with the people he worked with. Lacy compared his tactics to that of a bulldog who refused to let go of his prey.

"I think I found them!" Sam's startled and excited voice got their attention and they put on their professional faces. After confirming what she found, Tony looked pleased and he even smiled his first true smile since... Well it was a smile and it was his first real smile the agents had ever seen on his face. They had no time to ponder over that though.

"Good work. Lacy, stay behind, in case something new comes up. Start making those phone calls. We've got no time to waste. You two, let's go!" Tony grabbed his gun and left running, the other two not far behind him.

"Aye aye..." Lacy yawned. They had been working on this case for hours straight now. Or was it days? It was hard to tell at this point when for her sleep deprived brains it felt more like weeks.

Meanwhile, the other agents wasted no time getting in the car and speeding toward their destination. Time was running out and they couldn't be sure if they were already too late. Cases with children were always the worst. At least this time there was still a small chance to save the kidnapped little boy from the hands of a drug cartel. It was another matter however whether the kid would be returned to his parents after this...

"B-boss? A-are you sure you know what you're doing?" Sam stuttered and swallowed down the bile that rose up each time Tony made a sudden turn or, if it was even possible, made the car drive even faster.

"Don't call me boss," Tony snapped and made another sharp turn. Having studied and memorized the area and streets just for situations like these, he was easily taking several shortcuts, which even most locals weren't aware of. "And yes, I know what I'm doing. I've had the worst possible teacher you could imagine. Be thankful that I at least planned this ahead of time." Saying that, he made another sharp turn and Sam went visibly green on her face. Tony didn't even look her way and only concentrated keeping the car on the road and not hitting anything or anyone by accident. Indeed, it was good he had known to plan for situations like these beforehand, since there was hardly even any people where he was driving now.

"That's... That's not comforting..." Sam swallowed again and then, much to Aaron's amusement, she started mumbling the Lord's prayer in Spanish.

"My former boss. He's hell on wheels. He made me learn few tricks once." Sharp turn. This time Tony glanced in the mirror, to see his youngest Agent flat on the backseat and holding onto anything she could. The image brought some bittersweet memories, but he pushed them away in that little box of memories he had created in his mind before even coming to this place. Maybe someday he would be able to lock it up, so he would never again look what's inside.

"The road! Road..."

"Relax. I won't crash." There was wolfish grin on Tony's face, which didn't calm her one bit. Instead she closed her eyes and focused whimpering the Lord's prayer and something along the lines of ' _Oh God, oh God, oh God_...' And muttering some promises to God, which she would never be able to keep.

Eyes properly on the road again, until there was nothing but almost straight road for a while, Tony glanced at his other Agent. "How come you look so calm?"

Aaron shrugged, unwilling to admit that the calm and relaxed smile on his face was frozen and not a reflection of his current state of mind. "I trust you to not crash and kill us. And we are driving against the time here."

Tony looked at the older man with open surprise in his eyes, before swallowing and almost glaring at the road. _Trust_... "Don't say things like that so lightly, not unless you actually mean what you're saying."

Secretly grateful for the distraction, Aaron opened his mouth and— _For all things holy, is that a police car..?_

Tony muttered a Spanish swear word, one of the new ones Aaron had been teaching him. "Just what we need... To alert the bad guys as we arrive... Call Lacy and tell her to get rid of them!"

"Oh, this is going to turn nasty." Aaron sighed and running a hand over his buzz cut, he took out his phone.

"Not if we save the kid," Tony muttered while the other man was speaking with Lacy. He looked at Sam through the mirror. "You doing okay there, Sammy?"

The young woman opened her eyes slowly and shook her head with a weak scowl. Not trusting herself enough to open her mouth.

"I got it. Keep it together. Not much longer to go and if all goes well, we don't have to drive so fast when we go back. Until then... Just trust me to know what I'm doing."

After driving for a while, they were finally alone again, with no one following them anymore and Aaron ended the call. "They're not very happy, but thankfully someone actually understood the situation and ordered them to leave."

"Thank God for sensible people," Tony muttered. Rest of the car drive was spent in silence.

They didn't drive all the way to the foxhole—or a drug cave in this case—to not alert the bad guys. Hiding the car, they prepared for their walk, when Tony stopped Sam. He looked serious and every bit like the leader he was. "Sam. I need you to be honest with me. Can you do this? If you can't, stay here. Once we step in there, I can't look after you. The boy will be my priority."

Shaking her head, she forced herself to calm down enough so that her feet wouldn't betray her. "No. I _need_ to do this."

"I didn't ask if you need to do this. This isn't about you," her leader almost snarled at her and she took a shocked step back.

"No... I... Yes. I can do this."

"Good. We'll be counting on you there." Tony turned around and started walking, not wasting anymore time. They didn't have time to wait for backup. Most likely by the time it came, everything would be over. The big question was, which way would it end?

"He likes you." Aaron smiled, amused. He was glad that he didn't have to be the one to make sure their probie knew what was expected of her. She had great potential, but her inexperience had already gotten her into some trouble in the past. This was her first big case and she could either show that they could truly trust her to watch their backs, or worst case scenario, she would screw up and get them all killed. Aaron was secretly pleased to see their leader showing them this face. It seemed much more real and honest than those bright smiles or those small moments of secret uncertainty. This was business. There was no hesitation or a sign of uncertainty there. And right now, they needed someone with a cool head.

Sam winced and wondered if her partner was making fun of her. She really needed to learn how to read other people. Better than this... She admired the way the men seemed to change their entire personalities as soon as things got serious, like some badass movie heroes. If her boss was something of a classic James Bond, then Aaron had to be Arnold Schwarzenegger during his better days and better movies. They were quite the pair, those two... She was almost left behind admiring the view.

Despite what he said to Sam, Tony ended up saving her from getting shot when one of the bad guys didn't quite get the words ' _it's over_ ' and ' _surrender if you want to live_ '. To be fair, she had done great job and the real trouble was over without any of them getting a single scratch on them and even the little boy was physically unharmed. All thanks to them surprising the bad guys. So all was good. Almost perfect. Until their leader decided to jump in the way of the oncoming bullet; shot by that last bad guy who had been still standing. Thankfully Tony only ended up with a grace on his shoulder, which he shrugged off as nothing. That, as his agents would soon find out, was just the beginning of the man's blatant disregard of his own safety. But since the little boy was their first priority in that moment, they let the matter drop.

The guy who shot at them was not so lucky. He was shot almost as soon as he fired his gun.

Their return with the victim was almost glorious one. Even the slight scolding that they got, for taking off before waiting for more backup, was halfhearted at best. The boy was safe and thanks to Agent DiNozzo's lead, one big crime circle had been taken down. While the other people were going to soon start thinking about Tony's mad and successful stunts as something legendary and amazing, his team had a growing worry that there was something more to it all...

* * *

He would have never thought that it would reach Rota of all places, but then one day Tony found his team talking about a certain rumor someone had heard. The rumor was about the Agent whose name they _—_ thankfully—didn't know. How that Agent's own partners had somehow betrayed his trust and taken his loyalty for granted. How it had taken him doing the work _of three or more people_ to almost kill said Agent. It had taken that and some childish marking of his territory from the boss and other people, to finally send the Agent packing, which apparently should've happened much sooner than that.

If his agents knew how hearing them talk about him made him feel, or if they even knew it was him they were talking about, they didn't show it. For Tony there was no question whether that Agent in the story was him or not. He was pretty sure no one else was that stupid. Anyone else would've left long before things ever got to that point.

It took almost half a year, and Jimmy visiting him few times, before Tony was finally willing to start looking at his own past life through the eyes of a cop, of an investigator; someone who should've been trained highly enough to spot these things from miles away. Denial was a powerful thing indeed. That and the desperate need of just... _something_. Something more than what he had. Something much more meaningful. Something to fill the screaming void that had been growing inside him since his childhood.

For years, he'd been used and pushed aside. His self worth had been ripped apart, piece by piece, and he had let them get away with it all in his desperate need for their approval and friendship. Thinking that if he gave, they would someday give back. That no matter what, they would never betray him. Thinking that if he held on tight enough, they wouldn't push him out of their little family, which it never had been. Or if it had been a family of some kind, then he certainly had no place in it. Now that he knew the truth it was clear to him. Maybe he had let Abby brainwash him with that one, wanting to believe it was the truth, despite all the evidence proving otherwise.

' _If you repeat a lie often enough, people will believe it, and you will even come to believe it yourself._ ' To think of all quotes—the origin of it—that one would come to his mind when thinking of Abby's actions... Tony felt almost guilty for it.

The truth was, he'd failed himself almost just as much as they had failed him. It felt embarrassing and so pathetic to remember what he had been like around them. As soon as he was finally able to start thinking for himself again, with no one throwing their roadblocks to stop him, he felt almost like when you woke up from a very long dream, from a nightmare. Finally the haze was gone and the more he could think, the angrier he started to become.

Without even counting all the other incidents in his past, the truth was that after what had happened with Danny, he had been vulnerable. And Gibbs had been there, knowing what had happened and maybe even already knowing some of the juicy bits about his life and childhood. Maybe Gibbs saw all that and with it his opportunity to mold him into whatever he wanted him to be. Saw the perfect opportunity and took it. Or was he now twisting things into something even worse than they had been? There was no way to know the truth now.

Well, whatever it was, he was gone from their lives and hopefully they never had to meet again. Tony wasn't sure if he could ever forgive what they did to him. Never again would he let himself trust anyone that much.

The last time Tony heard from his former team was when he found out McGee was trying to hack into the system and find out where they had sent him. Thank God for the fact that he knew probie far too well at this point and what kind of bastard Gibbs was. He had been fully prepared and so the information was tight and secure, so that even McGeek couldn't get to it that easily. But it had alerted someone else who called him at work and told him all the unpleasant details of the 'cat and mouse' game they'd been playing with certain NCIS Agent, who had become a little too sure of his own skills and thinking he had been invisible inside a system that many people better than he had spent years building and forever improving. Instead of finding the mouse, the cat got caught by the guard dogs, pretending to be that mouse.

There would always be someone better than you, it was a lesson too many people failed to learn. It was a lesson that anyone wanting to become better should imprint inside their brains as a permanent reminder.

Knowing it would happen beforehand didn't stop Tony from getting furious though. It must have gotten through his carefully structured mask, since his agents had looked at him warily and they'd been very careful with their jokes on that day. It was good indeed that his team didn't ask too many questions and trusted him. Simply trusting that the reason was good enough, Lacy had blocked McGee from getting any further with his digging. Both were gifted at what they did, but she had more years and experience with hacking than he would ever have, plus she made sure to keep those skills sharp and increasing. With her help, Tony sent his last words of 'advice' to McGee and his former team, making it very clear what actions he would be forced to take if they didn't back off and leave him alone.

Someday he might just have to trust his agents in return, enough to at least explain his need to keep his former team far away from his life and everything that had his name on. But not yet. It was still too soon. Too raw.

"How is the case going?" Tony asked calmly as he sat down, sipping at his expensive coffee with just as calm manner, which no longer fooled his team. The chilling calm was much worse than him yelling at them ever could be. Thankfully he wasn't smiling too or then they'd be screwed for sure... The gossiping ended with couple of guilty looks and Sam blushing in embarrassment. "Get back to work."

Inwardly Tony was frowning. Somehow he had to cut off the wings of this rumor, before it got a name and face on it.

* * *

In the next few years as they worked together, their bond as a team was growing stronger. Slowly, but surely their team had become close, like a family, as much as their leader seemed to hate that comparison. The Initials now more or less knew the reason, but it didn't change what they were. So instead they never spoke it out loud. Whatever name anyone else would choose to use, it didn't matter.

And there was never a boring day for them. Whether that was a good thing or a bad thing, one could have many opinions depending what the current situation happened to be.

Agent DiNozzo was good at his job and he took it seriously. Maybe he was a little too good, otherwise the powers that were wouldn't have kept using him as they did. It was becoming frustratingly common for someone to show up at work. If it had been bad before, then it seemed that as soon as Tony stepped on the ground of Rota, everyone who owned some kind of badge seemed to be aware of what he could offer them, whether he was offering or not. As much of a bastard as Gibbs always was, at least some of that attitude had kept most of the people from borrowing Tony. Remembering that, made Tony almost miss his former boss. _Almost_. He wasn't quite there yet, not ready to allow himself to think good things about his former team.

' _Need to know_ '. Oh, how the Initials were starting to hate those words, coming from either the people taking their boss away or from Tony himself whenever they even looked at him with question on their faces, after he finally returned to them. Thankfully those secret works usually only took time from anywhere between few days to couple of weeks. But once or twice he'd been gone for few months, which had been hell to live with, knowing their leader was most likely in danger—the man who already seemed to be having a death wish of some kind—and they could do nothing to help.

After these years the Initials knew far too well that just as good Agent as Tony was, it didn't come without a price to pay. Next to the secret jobs, he was always getting in trouble and hurt. Thankfully not always almost dying, but it didn't change the fact that with his luck, their leader could end up dying from a paper cut if there was even the smallest possibility it could happen.

Being the second in command, Aaron was stressed beyond relief. Having both the temporary work of a boss and the constant stress over the safety of their leader on his shoulders, he felt drained and ready to drop. Still, they had to keep going, knowing that they could only relax again once their not-boss was back with them. Safely.

For Tony coming back home after one of those longer undercover jobs felt always so bittersweet. He was never too sure where those feelings came from, only that they were always there, each time when he saw his home or going back to work for the first time after being gone for more than few days. He was still too scared of admitting it out loud, but during these few years he had become almost happy again. He certainly was feeling much lighter. Even when whatever boss or badge holder came to him with all important snide ' _need to know_ ' comment if anyone dared to even ask about it before they were alone with him.

However, lately after leaving behind whatever undercover persona he had been, it always seemed to take that much longer to become himself again. Perhaps he was getting too old for these kind of games... And there was always left behind the stains of those people he had become. It left him feeling unbalanced and ill, with some headaches and couple of migraines after the job was done.

Opening the door to his home, Tony was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't even look up before it was too late. A word of advice to anyone trying to sneak up on a man still not fully recovered from his undercover mode and who was armed; never sneak up on him.

"Surprise!"

Holding out his gun, Tony stared at his team, plus the spare parts. They were all frozen to their spots for a awkwardly long and silent time. The Initials were holding a bottle of foaming champagne, a cake and there was a huge banner of ' _Welcome back!_ ' behind them. Instead of scared, they looked guilty. There were couple of other agents, Lacy's sister, some people he had never even met before and SecNav— Wait. _SecNav_..?

Tony shook his head as he put the gun away. He had been very close to making his very own Eugene Tackleberry entrance. He was still a little bit too on edge after the work was done, which had left behind more than few dead or wounded people. "You guys... Really? This isn't what the emergency key is for. And how did you know I would be back today?"

Lacy and Aaron pointed their accusing fingers at Sam who had nearly dropped the cake when their leader pulled out the gun on them. "Apparently SecNav and Sam are a family or something. He told us," Lacy spoke.

"Actually, he's married to my—" Sam was cut off.

"You better not be doing any secret work for a while. The world can take care of its own problems for a while and we need our leader back." Aaron looked dead serious as his eyes scanned over their not-boss, not liking the obvious weight loss. Knowing the younger man, there was most likely some hidden injuries somewhere under the clothes. Maybe after couple of strong drinks, and once other people were gone, they'd get him to strip and let them make sure there was nothing life threatening.

When their eyes met, Lacy and Aaron realized they were thinking the same thing and they nodded, before turning back to their not-boss.

Tony glared at them suspiciously before he started chuckling. "Who made the cake?"

Aaron looked fake offended. "Hey. It's not store bought. My own little hands made it with love."

The team laughed. The big man had anything but small hands. Lacy looked self-satisfied. "I told you so. We should have bought one. I told you so, but nooo, you had to do it yourself. Lopsided doesn't sound like the right word for it, and it looks like a cow has added a little something on it."

"Lacy!"

"Now I can't unsee that... Please tell me it's chocolate cake."

"Sorry, sorry."

Thankfully the cake tasted much better than what it looked like.

As the little 'welcome back' party started, Tony kept glancing toward the SecNav. Family or not, he didn't for one moment believe that to be the reason why the man was there. After making sure his team was occupied with his hastily bought souvenirs, Tony's eyes met the other man's and he nodded his head toward the balcony door. Once they were outside on the balcony and just as the older man pulled out a file, Tony held up his hands. "I swear if this another job, I refuse. It's too soon and you know with the way I am right now, I could compromise the whole thing. I need some time to recover first."

The SecNav stared at him, looking strangely amused. "No, not a job. Well, not exactly. Future promotion actually."

Tony scowled, feeling almost petulant. "Don't need one. I'm perfectly happy where I am right now." Tony tried to stop changing his position constantly when the deep bruising on his back was reminding him of the beating he went through only a few hours ago.

The other man sighed and held out the paper he took out. "Just read it, DiNozzo."

Glaring at the man and the paper, as if just looking at it could set it on fire, Tony finally snatched it. The more he was reading it, the more his ability to think was compromised. Finally, after reading it through for the fifth time, Tony couldn't get rid of the paper fast enough. "No."

"Agent DiNozzo. This is once in a life—"

"I said. No. Sorry, but I'm not your man."

When the man didn't take it back, Tony dropped the paper. "I'm sure you can show yourself out, _sir_."

The SecNav remained there for a long time after the Agent left the balcony. This certainly was not how he thought this would turn out... But after many screw ups behind them, they needed something new and different. _Someone_ new and different. Director Shepard had outlived her many chances and there wasn't many that would be able to keep people like Agent Gibbs under control... It was time for plan B or even C if it came to that.

* * *

It was few weeks later after the party, in Las Vegas of all places, where team Initials was finally spending their much earned time off. With how intense and busy the work had been lately, they needed this. After Tony was starting to look much better and they managed to get some time off for a whole week, both Lacy and Aaron had been a little too much into the idea of going to the Sin City. Lacy, to find out just how many places she wasn't on a black list yet, and Aaron was there just for the wild ride and everything else the city had to offer.

Tony was not so much into the whole idea, but he kept on his brave face. Spending any time back in the country was never too appealing and he really would've much rather spent that time sleeping and watching movies he hadn't been able to watch since forever. Or maybe he could've actually gone to the beach and spend time with the ladies. This work was not kind to his social life.

By the third day, they were all finally fully enjoying themselves. Even Tony and Sam—the mother of the team—were smiling and laughing as they escaped together from yet another casino, after Lacy had won too much money. Too much money in Vegas meant too much drinking in Vegas. Too much drinking in Vegas meant doing stupid things in Vegas. And against the worn out phrase, not all things would stay in Vegas.

By the fourth day they were joined by SecNav and few of the man's other buddies, which Tony knew were just other higher ups he had worked for before. Vegas and alcohol had already made him lower his guard and Sam simply shrugged it off with a _'they just needed some time off just like we did_ ', so he let it go for now. It was just a few more days and he could pretend for that time they were best friends and then do the yelling later. Or ignore them.

That was his second mistake. Or perhaps it was his third one. Coming to Vegas in the first place would be number one.

When he woke up the next 'morning' after meeting SecNav, Tony wished he had brought his gun, to help him end the misery. The bright midday sun, shining through the windows, had no mercy on his hangover self. He heard someone moaning and whimpering softly and it took him a while to realize that the sound came from his own mouth. It was the worst hangover since his wild frat boy days, and he really was getting too old for this...

Sitting up slowly, Tony was trying to remember what happened between the first couple of drinks and now. Unfortunately his memories where either as hazy as they could get or completely blank. Nada. Zilch. He had his clothes still on and he was sleeping alone, so that was good. From the looks of it he was back in his hotel room, and his head really was killing him. Boy, Vegas really was no good to him.

There was a sudden flash of memory where he was shaking hands with someone and they were laughing. Why were they shaking hands? And then someone took a picture of him and that someone. Sounds of people cheering and saying their congrats... Oh no, he didn't. _Please, say it ain't so_... Tony groaned and feeling almost terrified, he was barely brave enough to look at his hand. No ring there. Thank you, Lord.

Tony was rubbing his forehead and that was when he saw the big balloons, more than twice the size of his head, floating in the room. He couldn't miss the word ' _congrats_ ' on them even if he tried. The balloons were tied up around a big white envelope and they were hovering above his bed, as if taunting him with ' _I know something you don't know_ ' or ' _I know what you did last night_ '. With that the fear, of unplanned drunken Las Vegas marriage, returned with vengeance.

Fearing the worst, he slowly took the envelope and the papers that were inside it. Legal looking papers. Not married, but this was almost even worse... Staring at the paper and his own surprisingly neat signature, Tony suddenly had a faint memory of some drunken agreement and then signing some papers. There were also flashes of drunken Aaron throwing high fives with drunken Lacy, while drunken Sam was passed out somewhere. He had a horrible feeling that this was not something that would stay in Vegas. And it clearly was just a copy, so even if he burned it, the original was still there. Somewhere. In the hands of the people who must have planned this very carefully if they had been as serious about this as he feared...

It had been a trap. A set up! He should've realized something wasn't right with how easily they got their week off in the middle of a busy load of cases to work with. Cursed be the SecNac and whoever else was behind this! He didn't want this and they knew he didn't! He was a _field_ Agent, through and through. What was he supposed to do, sitting behind a desk, as a Director?


	3. Afterwards

Driving through the open gates of his property, Tony enjoyed the fact that he no longer had bodyguards following him all the way to his home. In fact, he only had one bodyguard now and by the end of the week he would be free from being constantly under the watchful eyes of someone. Unless something else went wrong of course... Even this moment of freedom had been allowed only with the greatest reluctance. Parking the car in the garage, Tony rested his head against the car seat for a moment.

The last months had been hectic. In many ways more than during his time as a field Agent. The amount of responsibility that he now held in his hands and over his shoulders as the Director, it was sometimes almost too much. And there were times when he almost felt like calling Tom Morrow and apologizing how difficult it must've been having such team as team Gibbs under his 'command'. But on the other hand—and he wouldn't be caught admitting it to anyone—today he had enjoyed the work for the first time.

They were his agents and his responsibility, and while he was giving Gibbs and his team a chance to improve, both as a team and individuals, but as long as he was sitting on the big seat, there would be no other agents like Gibbs allowed. Thankfully Gibbs himself would be soon forced to retire. Tony was aware that he would also need to draw some new and much easier to understand guidelines of accepting new agents and other employees in general. Too many past mistakes had proven just how much room they had for improvement. For example, not allowing foreign spies get anywhere near their secrets...

Although Ziva David was no longer presently their problem, Tony had a strong feeling they would hear from her again, one way or another. Call it a gut feeling or call it whatever, but he wouldn't stop looking over his shoulder, just in case.

The thing Tony did like about his new position was that as the Director he could prevent agents from using the agency for their own personal gain. At the end of the day he was still a cop with a fancier title and if there was one thing he hated, it was cases being thrown out because someone couldn't follow the right procedures. And sure, from time to time there was no other choice, that's just life and you do what you gotta do—and it wasn't like he enjoyed certain ridiculous rules that much either—but when you start thinking it's your right and special privilege to walk above the law, while condemning others who are doing the same... That's when the real problems begin.

Gibbs and some others might yet find out they hated him after all... Tony shuddered and realized how this was going to be one of the worst things of being a Director. Not so much the having to order people around and make the big decisions, but having to put aside all the friendships and other personal feelings while doing the job, and knowing that more than one person wasn't going to understand it and was going to be upset with him... He absolutely dreaded that part.

Shaking his head at the amount of headache waiting for him in the near future, Tony left his car and entered the house. His 'not mansion' was perhaps a bit extravagant indeed, but that's what happens when you trust and allow your friends to choose things for you. At least it was secure to the point of it getting annoying at times. As if the house alarms with their top notch security systems and prison walls and gates weren't bad enough, the security guards roaming in the area and ready to jump anyone even slightly suspicious was a whole another level of overkill. All that was missing was having watch towers and guards with their sniper rifles, taking out anyone suspicious in the area. Gibbs wouldn't probably last a minute without one of the residents near the man and them warning the guards beforehand...

One of these days he'd get the Initials for this. They still had the pending 'revenge' waiting for them...

Walking in the grand living room, Tony stopped short at the passionate scene playing in front of him. "You two sicken me. Get a room."

Aaron and Lacy pulled away from each other with twin looks of amusement. The day they had decided to give it a try, the terror 'twins' became sickeningly sweet couple, straight from the sappiest Telenovala you could imagine, only without all the drama. A real gag worthy super couple. Not that Tony had been watching many Telenovelas... None whatsoever...

"Don't be so jealous." Aaron smirked. "We need to find you a woman. Then you'll stop making U-turns every time I happen to be smooching with my woman."

Lacy smacked his arm as she always did when the big man called her 'his woman'. "It's true though. You are always running away."

"I don't run," Tony denied. It simply made him oddly uncomfortable seeing those two together. Outwardly they were the complete polar opposites, the bulldog and his geeky gamer girl, but once you actually saw the two interacting together... Well, it was a sight to behold. Also, romantic relationships were still somewhat sore spot for Tony since his last one, which didn't really even count as one, what with the whole 'classified' thing. His Initials of course didn't know it and what kind of friend would he be if he denied their happiness because he was having some difficulties?

"My sister has been asking about you again," Lacy teased and Tony, who had been on his way toward the sweets on the coffee table, did a complete U-turn and walked away.

"I'm not listening."

"We really do need to find him a woman," Aaron muttered and Lacy hummed in agreement.

"I can still hear you!" Tony called from the next room, which was his music room where he kept his grand piano.

Since Tony's promotion, Aaron catching a bullet and Sam having quit her job to become a full time mom for her child to be, the remaining three of former team Initials had migrated almost without any thought to their former leader, which meant that for the last week or two Tony's big house had been occupied by the Initials. He wouldn't admit it of course, but he liked coming to a home that actually felt like one.

Before Tony could sit down to play the piano, Aaron appeared behind him. "So... When will we meet your former team?"

"When I deem it proper." Tony turned around and raised his eyebrows meaningfully. "When I feel like I can trust that you won't go into your bulldog mode and start yapping your big mouth when you ought to keep it closed."

Aaron feigned hurt. "I'm a nice man. I would _never_ do anything to hurt their precious feelings." He flopped down on the armchair, which was too small for him. "They treating you alright?"

"I truly regret those two hours I left you alone with Jimbo..." Tony mumbled. Then he shook his head. "They've been just fine so far. I guess being their Director kind of helps. In some ways."

His former SFA didn't look convinced. "I'll believe it when I see it, amigo."

"You don't even know them. You never met any of them."

"I've heard things. And I did meet Gibbs once, although I doubt if the old fox remembers me. He was all growly and barking his orders at some- oh... That was you?"

Tony stared at him. "That was _you_?" Now he really did have to sit down. "You stole our case from us! It's your fault he was thrice the bastard from usual. Usual back in those days anyway."

Aaron winced. "Sorry."

Tony shook his head at the apology. "You were much... lighter then." He gave a look at the man's big muscles. "Both your skin and the rest of you. And you had way more hair. _Way more_... In fact, after you managed to piss off Gibbs, he mentioned something about giving you a buzzcut." He glanced at the man's head. "The irony..."

Aaron shrugged. "Well, you know. Rota. Lots of sun and working out. And then later I went undercover. The hairstyle kind of got stuck with me ever since then. Small word, huh?"

"Very small..."

"You two done with your male bonding?" Lacy asked from the doorway. "Well, you keep doing that. Sammy-girl and I are going for some female bonding, shopping and spending few hours wherever our feet take us."

To be fair, shopping for those two women probably meant geeky things for Lacy and baby items for Sam. Their Vegas trip wasn't 'oops' for only Tony, but also to their youngest who did the good old get drunk and get married to a stranger in Vegas. To Elvis of all people. Well, if only, but since the real man was long dead... Now she was happily divorced and pregnant.

"Have fun." Aaron smiled and walked to Lacy, starting another lengthy kissing session with her.

"And that's my cue," Tony muttered and left the room quickly.

"We need to find him a woman." Lacy shook her head and Aaron agreed heartily.

* * *

Few days later found Tony sitting in his new big comfy Director's chair and spinning it around until he was dizzy. It didn't help with his thinking, but neither did sitting still like a good and proper Director of the NCIS probably should. But hey, he was alone and it was his business if he wished to turn his office chair into a carousel.

They weren't happy, of course not, but the angry response was still mentally exhausting. Of course, that angry response came mainly from Gibbs and Abby. Other people were only being from mildly annoyed to feeling irritated. Few people were actually quite happy from the get go.

As the former field Agent and former member of team Gibbs, Tony had gone through quite possibly all the bad examples and learning firsthand what worked and what didn't, and what you should never do, which was also why he knew he was the perfect person to start making certain big changes. It was for the sake of his agents, their cases and people involved, and NCIS as a whole.

It was now mandatory that all his agents, especially the older team leaders and SFAs, went through refresher courses like ' _How to lead_ ' and ' _Workplace abuse and how to prevent it_ '. Not to mention many others, which were basically a reminder of how to do the job, since apparently certain people needed that reminder.

Any new agents had to be approved by him, to make sure those agents were fit for a job like theirs. No more secret spies, if he could prevent that. No Gibbs 2.0. and not anyone who only got the job because the boss happened to like them. Same thing with firing those agents. It had to go through him first, until he figured out a better system, to ease some of that extra work, and because of the case of Jenny and her little personal games...

Mental health was also a thing close to his heart, which was why Tony was currently looking through options that would work best for them. So far he had already put it down in writing that after certain number of days and hours, the agents were forced to take some time off to rest, both mentally and physically. The only exception was some big crisis where they simply had no other options. But having your agents burn out and becoming depressed while doing the regular cases, it wasn't going to help neither them nor help solving those cases. Mistakes were more likely to happen when they were too tired to think straight.

Food and bathroom breaks were something that neither the team leader nor the case could demand to be skipped, and you could go for some coffee only so many times before there had to be put a stop somewhere.

Gibbs was furious when he read the first version of the many new rules, which most people thought were reasonable enough, even if some were moaning at few things. Tony was still waiting for the moment when his former boss would storm in his office and the shouting match would begin. Thank God for busy cases... It gave him some time to mentally prepare himself.

Surprisingly, McGee had only frowned when he read his copy, read it again, and then sighed. Perhaps these years had humbled him down some and he was much easier to work with now. Hopefully. However, Tony was dreading that day when it became clear to the former probie that he was never going to become SFA again. The truth was, while McGee did know how to do his computery things and knew it well enough, you did need more to be a leader of any kind, including SFA. His only chance to prove himself worthy of such position had already been wasted while being SFA during the Gibbs' hiatus. Even if Tony had covered it for him, others wouldn't, and they hadn't as he had later found out.

Now Abby, she had already come to scream at him for giving her a personal assistant and then giving her _rules_. Those rules being things like no food and drinks in the lab, along with some others, which should've been obvious without them having to be personally written down for her. He also ordered a few 'refresher' courses for her to take. Needless to say, she'd been livid and almost in tears at the 'unfairness' of the whole situation. ' _How could you do this to me, Tony! I trusted you_ ', were among the things she screamed at him. Tony decided it was a good thing indeed he hadn't mentioned that the assistant was both to assist her, but also to keep an eye on her. Much as he loved Abby, just like Gibbs she had her own—not always the most lawful—ways of doing things, which of course again put their cases, future and past, in danger.

The days had been long and Tony felt he himself was getting very close to that mandatory break from the work. He wasn't really, not yet, but he was drained and needed a break soon.

Going to his coffee machine, another thought came to him and he started wondering about the possibilities of that. Better coffee for his agents. Sure, it would cost more money, but it should prevent the too many and too long trips away from work to get that better coffee elsewhere. It was something to think about... Shaking his head to try and stop thinking about his own work for a few minutes, Tony poured himself coffee and he sat on his desk and looked at the outside world from the windows.

He was still nervous what his own boss would say once he was done with the final version of the new rules. Was he doing the right thing or were people like Gibbs and Abby right and he was going too far? Time would tell. Maybe it was just his old insecurities peeking through again. Tony frowned as he realized it was likely this place that did it. It probably was something he had to bring up during his next meeting with his shrink.

It had been only after few years of being free from this place—and when he was finally seeing his life through the eyes of an outsider—that for the first time in his life Tony had started looking for someone to talk to. And yes, that someone was a shrink of all people. As much as he had started to see things the way they were, he knew he still needed an outsider's ears and advice to help him further. And so, after many trials and errors Tony finally found a man who, although not much older than he, had been just what he needed, and not your typical shrink either, but one who actually knew what he was talking about. They still met once a month, sometimes through videocalls when Tony's work prevented the actual face to face meeting. It had become one of those things that helped him keep his head on straight whenever something tried to unscrew it again.

Just as Tony was almost getting to that relaxed state of mind, his secretary announced him that certain Agent was demanding to meet him. With the coffee now forgotten, he told her to let the man in. _Oh goody... Here we come..._ Tony mentally sighed and plastered a smile on his face, just as the door was slammed open.

Gibbs was huffing and puffing. "DiNozzo..." Somehow he still remembered to close the door behind him.

"How's the case going, Agent?" Tony asked calmly. He was using the professional title as some kind of attempt to remind Gibbs where they were and their positions. It wouldn't do much for someone like his former boss, but he had to at least try.

Gibbs ignored him and held out the copy of the first version of the new rules and requirements. "What's this?"

"I'm pretty sure I wrote things down clearly. If there's some specific part that's unclear—"

"Not that!" Gibbs snapped. "I— We don't need this kind of crap in here! Anger management courses? Workplace abuse? How to treat the government property? It goes on and on like that!"

Tony almost rolled his eyes. "Do I really have to explain myself? Look... I don't have much of a choice. No, really, I don't. We are living in some difficult times and every expense must be carefully monitored. Things happen and that's especially true in our profession. But Gibbs, let's be honest... You use up cars and numerous other government property way more than anyone else. That's a huge red flag there. Even those who wouldn't have cared before, they are going to start noticing and doing something about it if we don't. You're also neither getting any younger nor are you as popular as you may think. People have simply been too scared of you before. But that's before. The younger ones are either too arrogant for their own good or simply don't get so easily intimidated." Tony barely stopped himself from saying ' _intimidated by an old man_ '. "You can only get so far with your old ways. I'm looking out for your ass here." Tony shook his head when Gibbs opened his mouth. "As for the rest of those... Do I really need to explain myself? If so, then you need those special classes even more than I thought you would."

"Tony..."

"Right now it's Director, _Jethro_ ," Tony said almost mockingly. "I don't know if you believe me right now, but I never wanted to have to do any of this, but I suppose I have no other choice, being in this kind of position. Do you have any idea how many of your cases have been thrown out because of how you've handled some of them? The numbers don't look good. Simply solving them isn't enough. We're living in times where our freedom to move and do things is already as limited as it is. Even the punishments don't always fit the crime anymore and there's nothing we can do about it. Everything is becoming even more monitored and even the rules have rules. We don't need to give more excuses to make our work even harder. Choosing our battles is hard, but that's what we need to do, instead of giving them more ammo for the smallest things."

Gibbs was scowling, but also speechless. He accepted wordlessly the cup of coffee, which Tony gave to him. "So that's it then." he finally said.

"No. These rules? This is only part one. The trial period if you will. Once we've figured out all the things that work and what doesn't, there will be the final version. But yes, most on that paper will stay in one form or another. It's a lot of work among other things I must do, so I would appreciate if you don't make it harder. Truly."

Gibbs finally looked him in the eyes. "You look terrible."

"Thanks."

Gibbs studied him some more and whatever he saw there, it made him nod tersely, and then he left without another word.

"That went well..." Tony muttered and went back to his own coffee.

* * *

"Abby." It was few hours later on that same day. Tony was standing in the lab, which was currently being drowned by some loud music while Abby was playing her game of ignoring him. All in all it was like a scene straight out of some teenager's personal drama where the whole world was against them and they hated everyone. "Abby!" he tried one last time, but finally gave up and left the lab with a suffering sigh of a parent. This was going to become a major problem if he couldn't even control one lab goth...

McGee, who had been following him there, to bring Abby some evidence from their case, winced and rushed after Tony. "I'm sorry."

"What for? Why, did you tell her to do this?"

"No, but..."

"Then there's no reason to say sorry."

"What are you going to do now? I mean, her being this way and you are the Director. She can't..."

Tony pursed his lips and glanced over his shoulder toward the lab as he pressed the elevator button. "Well. If she acts like a spoiled brat, then she will be treated like one."

McGee's eyes widened almost comically. "You're not going to..?"

"Watch me. And that doesn't mean taking her over my knee and spanking her, although it would be fitting. But it's probably one of her many kinks, and in this wonderful age we live in, I would probably be the one getting in trouble for that." Studying McGee's flushed face for a while, Tony snorted. "Get your mind out of the gutter, McSpanky. I have standards."

"Right... I mean," McGee was stuttering and trying to wipe away the mental images.

"So tell me about your case. I'm bored," Tony said and as they stepped in the elevator, he listened with great deal of melancholy as the younger man started explaining the case of some strangled Marine and his lost feet.

While you couldn't exactly call the relationship between the two men perfect nor ideal, they were slowly working on creating something resembling a friendship of some kind. They even went out for a couple of drinks once. It was hard to tell how things would be in the future, but they were trying. Although, Tony mused, it was amusing and at times slightly uncomfortable how McGee was behaving like a puppy, eager to please him now that he was the Director. It was going to take some working on that part first... Respect for his position was one thing, but the younger man was taking things a bit too far at times. But still, for now it was going better than some other relationships... And while future was always uncertain, Tony almost dared to be hopeful.

* * *

"So how are things going?" Jimmy asked him as he joined Tony in the small diner not far from work. It was the end of another long and stressful working day and the two friends were trying to relax before going home.

"She's very... I don't think I even have the right words for it. Very childish, but that really doesn't seem to be strong enough word." Tony shook his head. He had finally 'benched' Abby after her blatant disrespect toward him and a few others who didn't agree with her, when she even refused to work with those people. When she finally did, she didn't put much weight nor importance of getting those results done and delivered as soon as possible. Meanwhile, team Gibbs was always number one on her list. While having favorites among agents wasn't bad per se, it should never follow you to work where it was the cases, and not the people working on those cases, that should be put before others.

"How did she take it?"

"Had to call the security to escort her out. I'll give her a week and then I'll talk to her, to see if she has any future with us." Tony grimaced. "I'd hate if she doesn't learn her lesson after this. If she ruins her career in such manner as this, no one will want to work with her anymore. Not anyone worthwhile anyway."

Jimmy hesitated. "Maybe you could ask—?"

"No. I'm not going to bring this up with _him_. He loves her too much for her own good." Tony sighed. "Either way, there's now a nasty mark in her files. Can't give her any special privileges over others." He looked at his friend with no small amount of uncertainty. "Jimbo... You don't think that maybe..?"

"No. You're doing the right thing. Don't even go there. Don't let _them_ make you think otherwise." Jimmy studied Tony and he started worrying again. "You've been back only for months and you're already showing signs of almost regressing... I'm worried. I don't want to see you back where you where before leaving."

Tony nodded and looked down at his half eaten sandwich. "I know. I've been meaning to bring that up with Jonathan when we meet next time..." That gave him pause, when it suddenly hit him he was on a first name basis with his shrink and it didn't even bother him.

Jimmy relaxed, but only some. "That's good. It's... Yes, it's good. But still, be careful, alright?"

Tony smiled weakly. "Always."

* * *

Looking at the address again, Gibbs frowned. He had been invited to Tony's home for the first time, to talk over some things, but now he was either lost or the younger man had given the wrong address. He found himself standing in the middle of somewhat posh neighborhood. The security was something else and frankly their own security system at the Navy Yard could take a few lessons from these people... Before even getting inside the area, Gibbs had been stopped several times by some security guys. Each time he had to show them his ID, state why he was there and then wait as they confirmed it. One time he almost went through a patdown, after he was starting to show one of his scary looks on his face.

Cursing DiNozzo and hoping this wasn't some kind of revenge, Gibbs finally found himself standing in front of some sturdy, but elegant, iron gates. He couldn't see the house though. Irritated, he smacked the button next to the camera.

 _"Yes? Who is it?"_ The voice that spoke wasn't familiar, but Gibbs assumed it was probably just another security guard or something.

"Gibbs. I'm looking for DiNozzo. Is this the right place? Is he there?"

Silence. _"Oh. No. I mean yes. This is the place. Hold on a minute. The thing needs the code and I don't always remember it right..."_

Few minutes later the gates opened and Gibbs marched back to his car and drove it in. The gates closed soon after. It was still posh, but Gibbs had to admit that the house was a thing of beauty. It was made of some kind of white stone, with details made of some fine looking wood. It was big enough for a family and Gibbs found himself wondering if it wasn't lonely for one man to live in. Unless of course Tony was hiding a family from him as well.

The front door opened before Gibbs had time to ring the doorbell. Instead of Tony, there stood a big man. Big as in tall and muscular. The man was blocking the way in and he was giving Gibbs a hard stare. "So you're the one, huh? Gibbs."

Gibbs narrowed his eyes. Who was this guy anyway? "And you are—?" He couldn't even finish that sentence when something hit his face, throwing him backwards on the ground.

The man blew at his fist as if it was a smoking gun. "Sorry." He wasn't sorry. "Had to get it out of my system. Get in. Tony is in the shower, but he'll be out soon."

Gibbs sat on the ground, holding his bleeding nose, looking disheveled and confused. After a moment of gathering his scattered thoughts, he stood up and warily followed the man inside the house. "Who are you?" he demanded. "And what was that for?"

The big man grinned from ear to ear and gave Gibbs a roll of toilet paper. "For your nose."

Gibbs grunted. Snatching it, he tried to stop the bleeding, while still glaring for the answers.

The man sat down heavily on the chair, which creaked under his weight. From the looks of it, they were in some kind of living room. "I'm Aaron. Aaron Arland." He was looking expectant. For what, Gibbs had no idea. "You really don't remember me, huh? Not that it matters... I was Tony's Senior Field Agent back in Rota. Also a good friend."

Gibbs ignored the sharp pang at the realization that this was one of those 'better' teammates of Tony's that had been mentioned far too many times to his liking. "What are you doing here?" he mumbled through the paper, which was blocking out some of his voice.

"Did you miss the part where I said I'm his friend?" Aaron shook his head and then smiled again as he looked at something over Gibbs' shoulder. "Tony! Your guest is here."

Tony, who was wearing some fluffy bathrobe and fluffy slippers, moved closer with a frown and he cursed. "What did you do to him, Aaron?"

Aaron shrugged. "Had some unfinished business."

"Unfinished business?"

"Well, there's our first meeting all those years ago, and also..." Aaron looked at him meaningfully and Tony flushed slightly, or maybe Gibbs was only imagining it.

"Oh." Tony rubbed his hair with a towel. "Well, I hope you didn't pull any of your stitches with that move or anything... You can go pick up the girls now."

Aaron didn't make a move. He had a stubborn look on his face as he crossed his arms over his chest, making him look kind of like some bouncer.

"Aaron... It'll be fine. I'll be fine. I promise," Tony said quietly and Gibbs almost missed hearing the words.

Pursing his lips for a moment, the big man finally breathed out softly and stood up. "You call me if anything happens, okay? I mean that."

Tony nodded with a small smile and watched after his friend as Aaron's slow steps gave away his unwillingness to leave.

"So..." Tony started as they were finally alone, he and Gibbs.

"So," Gibbs agreed, still covering his nose with the rolled up paper.

Biting his lip, to keep from either laughing or frowning, Tony moved closer and pushed the older man to sit down on the chair previously occupied by Aaron. "Let me help you with that."

It took a while, but eventually they managed to stop the bleeding. Gibbs still wasn't happy. "Do all your guests get greeted with a punch in the nose?"

"Nah. That's just Aaron." Tony glanced up from the sauce he was stirring. They had moved in the kitchen, where he cooked for them. He had changed out of the bathrobe and was wearing some casual clothes. "He's... protective. And so are the other two, just so you've been warned."

"The other two?"

"Rest of my team Initials. Lacy and Sam. Those two have been going shopping for almost every day. Baby things mostly."

"Initials?"

Tony grinned. "Yeah. It's because of their names. Aaron Arland my former SFA and Lacy Lamb my former computer genius. Those two are a couple now." Tony rolled his eyes at the look he received from Gibbs. "And no, I had no rule 12 for my team, although they didn't start dating until only recently. Then there's our Sam, Sam S. Sheffield. She's my youngest and now soon to be a mother. I guess we're kind of..." Tony hesitated to say something he had never been willing to admit out loud. "We're a family. Friends. Aaron calls us his wolf pack."

"We were a family too once, weren't we?" Gibbs said quietly.

Tony shook his head and tasted the sauce. It was perfect. "No we weren't. Not like this anyway. I thought so once, I can admit that much, but then I met the Initials and... It was a match made in heaven. They forced their way into my life, annoying as they can be sometimes. And don't you dare repeat this to them or I'll never hear the end of it, but they broke through my defenses, picked up my pieces and put me back together. I owe them much. Although..." He grimaced. "I'm still mad at them for joining their forces with the SecNav and tricking me into becoming the Director."

"How does that work?" Gibbs looked at the plate that was set before him. He felt his mouth watering at the mere sight and smell of it. Yet another thing he hadn't known about his former SFA. The man could apparently cook and do it well. Must be the Italian in him.

Tony sat down with his own plate and he shrugged. "Vegas, booze and momentarily lack of judgment. Take your pick. Didn't we already go there once..? Anyway. I guess I can sort of understand them since I was constantly being used for some secret missions and returning each time more battered than before. Both mentally and physically. They were getting worried. Plus, apparently the higher ups wanted some new blood as the Director. For some reason they wanted me." Tony dug in and they ate in silence, while Gibbs was pondering silently at his words.

"What secret missions?"

"Gibbs. Eat."

Gibbs raised his brows at that and wondered how his former SFA had gotten much more... bossy, since they last saw all those years ago. It was in the way the man held himself and the way he delivered certain commands, with authority and taking no nonsense attitude.

They finished eating in silence and much to Tony's surprise and secret delight, Gibbs even had more.

"About these new rules," Tony finally spoke as they were sitting in the grand living room, Gibbs with his good coffee and he with some good wine.

The older man looked uncomfortable and mumbled something along the lines of ' _don't need_ ' and ' _messing with a good thing_ '.

"I hope you'll understand one day why these things are needed. I said it before and I'm saying it again; I'm doing it for you. For all of you. It would be so much easier to give up and fire you, and trust me, there are many reasons and ways I could do it. But I... I care about you and I know how much this job means to you."

Gibbs stared at his hands and frowned. He knew that now, more or less, but that didn't mean he had to like it.

"And no, you don't have to like it. I get it. Trust me, I do. But it is what it is." Tony smiled slightly. "At least you're taking it better than Abby, so I suppose that's something at least."

Gibbs looked up. "I'll talk to her."

"Really?" That was surprising and Tony hadn't even thought about asking for the man do it, much less that he would volunteer. "Thank you."

Gibbs didn't say anything else. Instead he let his gaze wander around the big room. In his mind's eye he could see their team—plus the others—gathered together in there, but he mentally shook that picture away. It was all in the past now and even his current team wasn't even much of a team, but simply people working together. Even McGee had been mentally pulling himself away from it for years. Tony had been their heart and their glue. Their 'superglue', Gibbs thought with some fond amusement. Once Tony was gone, so was the team.

"I have a housekeeper," Tony said, just as the other man was starting to wonder how time consuming it had to be to take care of a house this big and especially next to even more time consuming job. And what about the outdoors? Everything looked far too neat and... _pretty_. "And a gardener."

Gibbs stared. "Of course you do." He looked around at the expensive looking furniture and some paintings on the walls.

"How can I afford this?" Tony spoke again before Gibbs could ask. "That's my business, but let's just say that there's more than one source of income. Of course, being the Director doesn't hurt either. Also, one of my frat brothers knows how to invest my money wisely. Another frat brother helps me find good bargains when buying a home. Then there's the lawyer frat brother, who makes sure I've got my ass covered for other things... I got this for much cheaper than you'd think." Tony grinned and leaned closer. "They say this place is haunted by a guy who was murdered few decades ago. Imagine my disappointment when I realize that the man is still very much alive somewhere in the jungle and that there are no ghosts. I figured it'd be cool to own my own haunted house."

"Of course you would..." Gibbs muttered, but with a fond look in his eyes.

Through the open windows, they heard a car arrive. The Initials had finally returned.

"So... I've been thinking... Now that both my former teams and friends are around, I'll arrange a small get together for us all. What do you think?" Tony didn't mention that Abby was a big question mark and there was a high possibility that she wouldn't be invited, unless she fixed her attitude first.

Touching his nose, Gibbs flinched. "It's... I'll be there." It was the best he could come up with and Tony rolled his eyes.

* * *

Few weeks later was finally a short break for all of them and so Tony invited them to his home, even Abby. Despite the posh environment, the food was cooked outside on the grill and instead of wine they had beer and some non alcoholic beverage and coffee for Gibbs.

There was a clear separation between his old life and the new one. The Initials stood among themselves, with Jimmy migrating there with them, having already become friends with them years ago. Gibbs stood on the other side of the big backyard, talking quietly with Ducky. Abby was sticking close them, glancing warily and almost jealously toward the Initials now and then, illogically feeling that those people were the reason they had lost 'their' Tony, while understanding at the same time that no, it wasn't true. She was still not feeling too happy, but she tried, she really did.

Gibbs and everyone had talked to her for days, trying to make her see reason, but it was hard. She hated it even more than Gibbs hated those new rules he had to deal with, but for some strange reason the man was dealing with his own situation. He'd even stopped his growling each and every time they came up. He did do it occasionally, but only when he was in a bad mood to begin with. So if Gibbs—and even Tim—could do it, then surely she could as well..? No, she still didn't like this, but she couldn't lose Tony again. That fear was far bigger than her anger toward everything else. So she would deal or she would learn how to.

McGee had been starstruck in more ways than one. First, there was of course the house and place where Tony lived, then he found out that not only was Lacy something of a genius in his own field, but he also now knew her online gamer name. She'd beaten him more than once in that game and even at his own work in real life. But rather than feeling bitter over it, as he might have in the past, he was very close to being in love. Not quite, but close enough.

"And here I thought she'd turn out to be your nemesis... Close your mouth, McCrush, before you catch flies." Tony was amused. "If I were you, I would stop staring at her, unless you wish for her boyfriend to catch you looking at his woman."

McGee's face fell. "Boyfriend?"

"Oh yes... See that guy over there? Aaron. That's the one."

The former probie swallowed heavily and took a step back. There was no way he could risk getting between those two. Not when the competition was such a big guy as that one.

Tony looked at him with sympathy. "Don't worry. You're not the only one feeling that way. I wouldn't risk it either. He's got a mean punch. I've never been punched, but seen others at the other end of his fist." He lowered his voice. "Including Gibbs."

McGee was shocked. "Seriously? Is that why he was away from work?"

"That's why. You didn't hear it from me then." Tony left him then, leaving the younger man staring at his boss with a thoughtful look on his face, but when Gibbs noticed the long stare, he looked away quickly. Nope, he couldn't quite face that one either, even now...

Standing somewhere between the two groups of people, Tony finally had enough. "Alright, that's enough! I arranged this so that you could all meet and get to know one another! You don't have to become friends, but _please_ , at least pretend for one evening that you're happy to be here."

The Initials looked openly guilty and Aaron was first to move to him, hugging him quickly and nearly crushing his bones as usual. "I'm sorry, partner... We didn't think it through and yet we've been pushing you so we could meet them. For your sake, we'll try."

"Like I said, you don't need to become friends. Just..." Tony frowned unhappily, regretting this whole thing already. Over one hour behind them and this was the best they could do? What had he been thinking?

"I got it." Aaron smiled sadly.

After that, both groups gave it a try. And yes, there wouldn't be formed any new friendships, although the Initials did rather like Ducky and Ducky was more than happy to have new ears that hadn't yet heard his many stories.

"Hey, we agreed to come. You didn't make a mistake," Gibbs said when he walked next to Tony, having avoided doing that while one of the Initials had been with him, since it had been clear after their first meeting that he was pretty much their least favorite person. "We did."

"You're sure about that?"

"Yes. We'll work on it. I'm sure we'll find some common ground to..." Gibbs studied Tony and nodded. "Actually, I suppose we already have one."

"Really? What is it?"

"You."

* * *

All things considered, it was something of a miracle that it took nearly half a year after his promotion before Tony saw the man. Frankly, knowing the old man as well as he did, he'd almost expected to see his mug almost as soon as his promotion became more widely known. But as it was, he'd been granted close to six months of peace and quiet.

Tony stared at the open door as Anthony DiNozzo Senior strolled into his office like he owned the place.

"Son." Senior looked around the room and after a while the look on his face basically said, ' _well, it could be worse_.'

"Dad. What are you doing here?" Tony forced a polite smile on his face, while praying that the man would leave. What did he want anyway? Surely it could be nothing good, he knew that much. If only he had known from the description by his secretary to be more careful and not let him come in. Now it was too late.

"So it's true," Senior said, ignoring the question. "I suppose it's a small upgrade from your old job. In fact, I have a favor to ask."

Tony closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep steady breath. When he opened his eyes again, his expression was completely blank. "I see."

Senior sat down on a chair and frowned. Probably because the chair wasn't comfortable enough for his spoiled ass. "I have a friend."

 _Oh no..._ Tony moaned internally. Senior had no friends. So in other words this was about some business deal. He didn't want to hear this.

"Lately the business hasn't been good, but now I have an opportunity to get back on my feet. For that I need your help. My... _friend_..." And Senior couldn't even sound sincere, however he seemed to try, despite being a conman. Or then his son simply was the only one able to see the truth. "He is in some trouble with the law. I need you to—"

"No," Tony interrupted sharply. He knew what this was about now and he did not want to hear another word. Did the man seriously think that he would use his position to probably wipe clean someone's records or get them out of jail or God knows what else?

"No?" Senior narrowed his eyes. "Did you just say no?"

"That's exactly what I said."

"You ungrateful little bastard..!" Senior stood up and grabbed his son by the collar. "I feed you and give you the roof on top of your head and this is how you thank me!?"

Tony gasped in pain and his face was instantly filled with flashbacks from his childhood. "You hardly did any of that, not even with all the money you had!"

"Hey!" Gibbs stood by the door, holding a box. Since Senior hadn't closed the door after himself, the secretary had heard everything and informed Gibbs who had already been on his way there. Now the Agent stood there and took in the scene where an older man was holding his friend and Director in his hands like some rag doll. But it was the look in Tony's eyes that alarmed him the most; they were glassy and distant. "Let go of him!"

Senior dropped his son back in the chair and turned to look at the other man. "This is between me and my son."

"Your son?" Gibbs looked at Tony again, but the man avoided his eyes, looking almost ashamed. It angered Gibbs even more and he grabbed Senior by _his_ collar and dragged him out of there. All Tony heard was the loud voice of his old man, cussing and threatening with lawsuits, and then complete silence.

Leaning his forehead against his desk, Tony wrapped his hands over his head. Great. Now Gibbs knew what a wonderful father he had.

"Tony..."

Tony looked up and saw that Gibbs was back and the door was closed this time. "My dad?"

"Left him for the security guys to throw out. Told them he's banned from entering this place again."

"Thanks." Tony laughed softly and bitterly. "Great dad, huh?"

"Tony... It's... You're not him. Same family name or even same blood means nothing if the heart isn't there as well." Gibbs sat down on the same chair where Senior had been sitting. "You're your own man and clearly a much better one too. I'm..." Gibbs swallowed hard. "I'm proud of you."

Tony stared at Gibbs and was it just him or did his cheeks feel hot? Great... Was he blushing now? Trying to distract the other man from noticing, or at least mentioning it, Tony finally looked at the box, which Gibbs was still holding. He then realized it was that same box he had left behind on the man's desk all those years ago. "Gibbs... That's..."

Gibbs held out the box for him to take.

"Why?"

"They're yours. Always have been." When Tony didn't take it, Gibbs put the box on the desk.

"Gibbs..."

"Yours." Gibbs hesitated. "When you were gone... They became something of a crutch for me. It felt like as long as I held on to this, you would return one day. Now that you're back, I have no need of them anymore." He narrowed his eyes. "You are back, aren't you? For good."

Tony made a small movement with his shoulders, faintly resembling a shrug. "None of us can predict the future, you know it better than most people. Don't make me promise something I might not be able to keep."

"Tony..."

"I mean it, Gibbs. I'm not in a hurry to go anywhere right now, but I don't know how I might feel tomorrow or a year from now, or if something happens, which makes the decision for us."

"Then... Take these at least as a sign that you're back for as long as it's possible. As a... As a sign of our friendship and rebuilding of trust." Gibbs stared at him hopefully and Tony stared at the box.

Tony took the box and the men shared a look of rare understanding.

**_The End_ **


End file.
